----- Original Message ----- From: TPRRET@aol.com To: TPRRET@aol.com Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 9:46 AM Subject: Why we love kids > Subject: Fw: why we love kids > > > > Why We Love Kids--- > > > > > > NUDITY - I was driving with my three young children one warm summer > > > evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and > waved. > > > She was stark naked! > > > As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my > > > 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a > > > seat belt!" > > > > > > > > > HONESTY - My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to > > > tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out > and > > > threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, > > > then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it > up > > > and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out > too > > > then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." > > > > > > > > > OPINIONS - On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his > > > teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions > expressed > by > > > this child are not necessarily those of his parents." > > > > > > > > > KETCHUP - A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of > > > the jar. > > > During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her > > > 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone "It's the minister, Mommy," > the > > > child said to her mother. > > > Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right > > > now. She's hitting the bottle." > > > > > > > > > MORE NUDITY - A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in > > > the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into > > > shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The > little > boy > > > watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you > > > ever seen a little boy before?" > > > > > > > > > POLICE # 1 - While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary > > > school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. > > > Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" > > > "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report... > > > "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is > that > > > right?" > > > "Yes, that's right," I told her. > > > "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you > > > please tie my shoe?" > > > > > > > > > POLICE # 2 > > > It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the > > > station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was > barking, > > > and I saw a little boy staring in at me. > > > "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. > > > "It sure is," I replied. > > > Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. > > > Finally he said, "What'd he do?" > > > > > > > > > ELDERLY - While working for an organization that delivers lunches to > > > elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my > afternoon > > > rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of > old > > > age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found > > > her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced > > > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and > > > whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" > > > > > > > > > DRESS-UP - A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. > > > When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you > > > shouldn't wear that suit." > > > "And why not, darling?" > > > "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." > > > > > > > > > DEATH - While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our > > > minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar > > > wilt. > > > Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead > > > robin. > > > Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a > > > small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the > > > disposal of the deceased. > > > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with > > > sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father > > > always said: > > > "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he > > > gooooes." > > > > > > > > > SCHOOL - A little girl had just finished her first week of school. > > > "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. > > > "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" > > > > > > > > > BIBLE - A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated > > > as he fingered through the old pages. > > > Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object > and > > > looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in > > > between the pages "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. > > > "What have you got there, dear?" > > > With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's > > > Adam's underwear".