>From "Not By a Jugfull!" by Will Townsend (aka Townsend Godsey) "Even Ozarks rocks were said to add fertility to the soil. One spring a land agent was showing a prospect some very ordinary farm sites when the outlander became concerned about the large number of rocks he saw scattered over the fields. 'Those flint rocks are very valuable to Ozark Mountain farmers,' the agent quickly explained. 'They increase the productivity of the land. Stones prevent erosion, they preserve the moisture, keep the crops from getting dirty in the mud and all sorts of good things like that.' 'But look,' said the prospect, 'over there in that field there's a man hauling off the rocks.' 'Friend, let's be moving along,' hastened the agent, 'we might get took up as witnesses in court. That feller's a-stealing those rocks.'" "Tall tales were told almost exclusively by men. Apparently life was too serious a matter or their time too occupied for women to socialize this way, and normally being more sensitive, perhaps they felt too much of the pain of the person who was the butt of the joke. There are those who say women lack a sense of humor, but that can't be entirely true since they marry men." (vks--and my own observation shows that we really like men with a great sense of humor...LOL) "In the Ozarks, as it should be anywhere, nobody but strangers and durn fools attempt to predict the weather. Once a native was asked if he thought it would rain the next day. He replied, 'When God was a-running the country, I used to be a pretty good weather prophet, but now the govern'mint has took over, hit's mighty hard to tell what's a-goin' to happen.'" "When there's no unsuspecting stranger to gull, tall tale tellers [try saying that real fast 3 times in a row] may take to bantering among themselves. Then one yarn spinner may cut another fellow's story down to size. This was the case when a fishing guide reported the time he felt a powerful tug on his line and pulled out a 35-pound bass. 'That's nothing,' replied another guide, 'I felt a tug on my line and pulled out a lighted lantern.' 'Now you looky here, nobody ever pulled a lighted lantern out of the river.' 'Well, if you take twenty pounds off'n that bass, I'll blow out my lantern.'" "The year before Table Rock Dam stopped float fishing on the Upper White River there was a rash of anglers looking for river guides to take them on a final johnboat float. The band of experienced guides was exhausted and one outfitter had to put a 'gourdy' fellow in one boat as a guide. As luck would have it, the two fishermen in the boat had phenomenal luck just at sundown, so they desired to fish the same waters the next day. 'Do you suppose we can find this same place tomorrow?' one of them asked their guide. 'Reckon,' said the guide importantly, whipping a big Barlow knife out of his overalls pocket. 'I'll just cut a notch on the side of the boat to mark the place.'" Happy New Year! Vonda Wilson Sheets ListMom for MOTaney and MO-AR-WRV http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~moarwrv/ http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~gregvonda/

Vonda, you quoted: "Tall tales were told almost exclusively by men. Apparently life was too > serious a matter or their time too occupied for women to socialize this way, > and normally being more sensitive, perhaps they felt too much of the pain of > the person who was the butt of the joke. There are those who say women lack > a sense of humor, but that can't be entirely true since they marry men." Now all women know that is entirely untrue. We just don't tell our tall tales to the men who wrote the books, probably since they mainly concern men's behavior, kids, and all that women stuff men think is icky. Townsend should have hung around outside the kitchen door. Regarding rocks, that reminds me of a story about my second cousin Alden Hembree. He's one of the Powell family that developed Fairy Cave, now Talking Rocks cavern. He says that he once guided a fellow through the cave, and afterwards the man asked, "How do you make a living down here with all these rocks." Alden, having just taken this man's payment for the tour, thought it was an extremely silly question, and replied "Showin' them to tourists."