Jefferson Democrat Thursday, December 18, 1890 Volunteer Transcription  by N.J. ~Missouri News~ Hannibal people have been driven almost ? By dairymen teaching their cows to ? Gates. The people passes an ordinance prohibiting the bovines running at large. It did no good. The cows were turned loose at midnight and gathered in before daylight. One citizen strung a bare copper wire around his yard and attached it to the electric wire with a switch connection. Just before going to bed he turned the current on his garden circuit. He had two dead cows on his flower bed next morning and the dairymen are disgusted. An enterprising St. Joe thief stole thirty sets of harness and was given sixty days. He figures out the harness as salable at $300 and as it only took him twenty days to get them, for his eighty days service he will get $2.75 per day and board for three fourths of the time. The Kansas City Court of Appeals has decided that the law imprisoning people for unpaid board bills at hotels and boarding houses is illegal. The Kansas and Texas Coal Company has purchased T. E. WARDELL’s coal mines and lands at Bevier for $4,000,000. Charles HOMER, of Mound City, accused of horse stealing, dug his way out of the Kirksville jail. L.A. YOUNG, a Sedalia merchant, married Miss Summers at Columbia and started home with his bride and his mother. At Moberly they changed cars and while he was checking the baggage his train with his wife and mother on board, pulled out. He tried to get to Sedalia the same night on a freight train, but didn’ t, and bride and groom remained apart on the bridal night. A hound belonging to John DICKSON at Arrow Rock, near Marshall, savagely attacked his two year-old child while he was watching beside the sick bed of his wife. The bruise chewed the childs face in a horrible manner. The little one is in Sedalia being treated with a mad-strome ?, as the dog , before being shot, showed indications of hydrophobia. The Lincoln County News, which moved from Troy, made its vow to the public at Elsberry, and the citizens gave all hands on the News a Thanksgiving banquet and reception. They were short on turkeys at Hasalbol on Thanksgiving , when a hunter averted the famine by throwing a carcass of bear meat on the market. Jefferson City has decreed that all convicts released from the penitentiary must leave the town by the first train or be arrested as vagrants. The Audrain County fair Association has voted against increasing the stock from $10,000 to $ 20,000. Hundreds of horses are dying in Howell and adjoining counties, over 100 being reported dead in Oregon County alone. It is supposed to be the result of the animals eating rotten corn, but this is doubted, as it is known that some horses have had no corn this year. The disease is still increasing in fatality, and no one can foretell the end. Many of the losers are poor farmers, upon whom the loss will fall heavily. The stain (?) veterinarian will be asked to look into the matter, and let the people know if there is any cure for it. Miss Phena PERKINS, of Kansas City, is cahier of the Winner Investment Company, which does an immense business constructing railroads. Miss Phena handles millions of dollars every month and can count cash as quick as one of Cersus PORTER’s lightening enumerators and never make a mistake. She can detect counterfeit bills and coin by a power which is akin to omniscience. Here is what the editor of the Moberly Optic, edited by a colored man. Says of Mexico’s colored dude population: "Mexico produses more empty headed dudes than any city of its size in central Missouri. They watch the school house and at recess pick their chances to prevent the girls from learning. Penniless, brainless, pastless are the specimens of little emery, dilapidated cigar signs". A number of wealthy gentlemen of St. Louis have formed a sporting club and rented a five acre tract of land near Drew Station, on the Colorado Railroad, where they will construct a large artificial pond, which they propose to stock with 30,000 fish of different varieties. A Chillicothe minister preached a sermon on the "Devil in Society", and when he got through he found he had raised the devil in his church. Here is what the editor of the Moberly Optic, edited by a colored man, says of Mexico’s colored dude population; "Mexico’s produces more empty headed dudes than any city of its size in central Missouri. They watch the school house and at recess pick their chances to prevent the girls from learning. Penniless, brainless, pastless are the specimens of sittie emery, dilapidated cigar signs". A number of wealthy gentlemen of St. Louis have formed a sporting club and rented a five acre tract of land near Drew Station, on the St. Louis, Kansas City & Colorado Railroad where they will construct a large artificial pond, which they purpose to stock with 30,000 fish of different varieties. A Chillicothe minister preached a sermon on the "devil in Society", and when he got through he found he had raised the devil in his church. The Vandalia saloon-keepers in their application for dramshop license offer to give bond to the city of any sum, signed by men of unquestioned solvency, obligating themselves to build and maintain free of any cost to the tax payers, an electric light plant, and place five arc lamps in the public square, and they further agree to keep the public well infused running free of cost. Silk is numbered among the products of Missouri, having produced last year 2,776 pounds of cocoons: of this, 1,281 (?) was produced in Barry and Lawrence Counties and 874 in Johnson County. The ferry-boat at Narrow Rock is a novelty. The engine- a ten-horse power- is run by gasoline. Steam is raised in five minutes. It is across the Missouri river. It is 61 feet long and 2? Feet wide. Mr. Gus MOEBLE, the inventor and patentee, is pilot, engineer, fireman and ?.Near Walker, Vernon County, a miner excavated a petrified foot, 23 inches long and and 33 inches long and 29 inches around the instep, suppose to be that of a giant. The miner has been offered $150 for it, but declined the offer. According to the report of the postmaster General there are ?3,4?1 post offices in the United States.