The guy that I used to join the DAR did not have a direct descendant [or direct ancestor to me] who was in the Civil War. I could join either the Union or the Confederate daughters, in other lines, but not in the one I used for DAR. But you're right in that the DAR is so strict about proof that once you find the evidence to join DAR, it is relatively easy to prove the evidence to join either of the Civil War daughters' groups if you find an ancestor who fought for either side in the CW. I believe that they also will allow her to join if she can prove a brother or uncle to the direct ancestor, but have never understood why since its not a direct lineage. Lanita