I will add my two cents, first thing is children don't have to pay the consequences of their actions anymore. I remember my middle son, and two other boys on our street, took marker pens and wrote and drew on our neighbors curb. When I was informed of his actions, I filled a big pail with hot water, soap, and a little bleach, a big scrub brush and marched him down the street to apologize to Mrs Hayes, than he was to scrub the curb till it looked like it did before be deiced to decorate it, or till it got dark. He was lucky, about a hour worth scrubbing and it was clean, HE NEVER DID THAT AGAIN !!!! In high school my daughter was excused from class and told to go to study hall (the Library), but instead she and a couple of her friends walked off campus (about a block away) and went to Yum-Yum Donut shop, well they were caught off campus, and because they knew me, (I use to help them get out the school newspaper) they called me and told me, they were going to let her off with a warning, I said "what do you usually do" They said "they had to stayed after school for a hour, for two weeks" I told them, she had to face the consequences of her actions, so she stayed after school like all the others who were caught off campus with her, during school hours. SHE NEVER DID IT AGAIN !! Only once did I feel a teacher was is the wrong, I didn't put the teacher down, or say I even thought they weren't fair, What I did say to my child was: you will go out in the world to work, and there will be all kinds of people out there, you will have to learn to get along with lots of fellow workers you don't agree with, you have to make your own way in this world !!! I have a niece who is raising her children to lie, and she makes excuses for their bad behavior (I told her and she didn't like it) That our job is to teach our children how to get along, to be truthful, follow instructions, be fair, always be polite, so they can go into the world, get a good job, and contribute to society. We must raise our children not to think they are special, and that they don't have to follow the rules, because when they leave home, those people they work for, will not think they are special, and won't accept their bad behavior. The success of a parent is when your child leaves home and makes a good life for them self. Of course our children aren't perfect, they make mistakes, but if they learn from mistakes, they go on and make a good life for them selves. I have made my share of mistakes, I hope I have learned form them, because if I haven't learned by now I am going to end up all alone and very very sad !!!! Sully, in Sunny California

I will add my two cents worth also, as a retired Daycare owner and having worked with children for fifty or so years--I do object to people making comments on how the kids dress, color their hair, have studs in their faces or piercings-that does NOT make them any different from others inside-some kids do these things because they like the way they look, are insecure and this makes them feel like the "in" crowd--these are the kids that are good kids most of the time. it is the kids who have parents who buy them out of all messes and tell them they can do whatever they want ---- will not listen to constructive criticism etc, the kids are usually bright, college bound from money that go wild and kill and maim and even when they get into Fraternities and Sororities they do mean and dangerous things to others being pledged----I found lower and middle income people give the kids more love and sense of family and have great kids who understand right from wrong-but the wealthier parents dump the kids at daycare, nannies on weekends so they can "get away" and these are the children with no family life and have been given everything ever needed-once they get a little freedom they go nuts----the old saying "you can't judge a book by it's cover" applies here. I love free spirited kids-I have seen children from six weeks to 30 years old and you can tell from when they are small what kind of kids they will be--and most of the kids that go wrong have over protective parents who "covered" for them and bought them out of all scrapes! To this day I am in touch with the majority of "my daycare families"-I get invited to birthday, graduations, weddings-I have never been afraid of any kids and I love them all-the ones that need a good shaking and talking to are the parents when the kids are in their formative years-Sully you are spot on making kids pay the consequence for their actions! Helen