No, not all nursing homes are like that, but unfortunately many of them are. My grandmother's sister was in a home years ago that did not provide the wonderful service my grandmother had. You expect a certain level of care, but it is often not provided. The occupational and physical therapy will be great because it will keep her moving and give her something to look forward to, and make her feel better in the long run. Just make sure the therapist who comes really gets her moving and doing things. Some of them have a mindset that the person is old, so why make them do much... Lisa > -----Original Message----- > From: memory-lane-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:memory-lane- > bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of grandbanna > Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2014 9:42 AM > To: memory-lane@rootsweb.com > Subject: Re: [ML] mother > > The nursing homes in our area are anything but acceptable in my > estimation. One of them was shut down because they wouldn't hire > enough staff to care for the residents. That nursing home always > smelled so bad. My mother's brother is in another one in our town. I > am his POA and have to stay on them constantly about one major issue > after another. The administrator there talked him into signing a DNR > (without my knowledge) because she told him they would break his ribs > and puncture his lungs if they had to do CPR for any reason. It took > me a week but I finally got that mess straightened out. The third > nursing home was built a couple of years ago by man from a nearby town. > He is a crook but can sugar coat everything. He walked off and left a > $500,000.00 debt on the one he had run for years. It was run down and > the care was undesirable. About three weeks ago one of my lifelong > friends who is bedfast and unaware of most things due to strokes was > raped by an aide there. ! > Her family is mortified. Daddy was in that home for almost a week > for rehab after surgery. He is still waiting for that rehab. He took > pneumonia from force feeding and ended up in the hospital. Reasons > like the above are why I kept him at home. He was happy, comfortable > and at peace at home. I now hope and pray that I can keep my sweet > Mother at home as long as possible. I think about all the things she > and Daddy have done for me during my lifetime and now it's my turn. > The home health nurse is recommending occupational and physical therapy > for her so that she can adjust to my home. > > Maybe I should keep my mouth shut about those things. Not all nursing > homes are like these. > > Martha > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: Lisa Lepore <lisa.lepore2@gmail.com> > To: memory-lane@rootsweb.com > Sent: Thu, 13 Feb 2014 08:04:43 -0500 (EST) > Subject: Re: [ML] mother > > You shouldn't blame yourself for anything. Easier said than done, but > there's nothing you could have done to have changed anything in that > situation. > > What is amazing to me is the idea that it's more normal to send the > elderly to a nursing home rather than trying to keep them in their own > homes. These people who think one might receive better care in a > nursing home should spend some time at one. > > My grandmother was in a very nice nursing home for the last few months > of her life. The Aides there were very good, the place was very clean, > etc. But my grandmother couldn't advocate for herself, so you always > had the feeling that if you weren't there every day asking questions, > and requesting services, these things wouldn't be done. > > It's wonderful you were able to keep your father at home. > > Lisa > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: memory-lane-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:memory-lane- > > bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of grandbanna > > Sent: Tuesday, February 11, 2014 2:19 PM > > To: memory-lane@rootsweb.com > > Subject: Re: [ML] mother > > > > Thank you Barb. She tells me over and over that he lunged forward and > > part of his body was off of the bed. She tried to lift him but > > couldn't. He took about two breaths and died. My son is an ER nurse. > > He said that sometimes when a person has a pulmonary embolus or a > > heart attack they do shift forward. I was afraid that the lunge > > forward caused his death but it didn't. It's still extremely hard for > > me to hear her relive this, but she needs to talk about it. Since he > > died at home, the sheriff's department had to investigate. They said > > all was okay and they didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I > > blamed myself for not being there. We often left them for a couple of > > hours at the time but always stayed in touch by phone. There would > > have been nothing that I could have done if I had been here and I am > > at peace with that but it still hurts me. The young sheriff's deputy > > questioned me as to why he wasn't in a nursing home where he could > > have been cared for. The constable! > > is a very good friend of ours and jumped to my defense. The deputy > > called the sheriff who was a good friend to my dad. He told him the > > same thing. They both commented on how well he had been cared for. > > > > Martha > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: Barbara Mangan > > To: MEMORY-LANE@rootsweb.com > > Sent: Mon, 10 Feb 2014 22:27:59 -0500 (EST) > > Subject: [ML] mother > > > > Martha, don't think about everything that you have to do. Take one > > thing a time or you will go nuts and don't look ahead so much. I am > > sure your mum has a hundred things going around in her mind to. Maybe > > sit and listen to each other. When and if she cries leave her alone > so > > that she can cry hard and loud when she is alone. Peace of mind will > > come soon. > > Barb