In a message dated 1/29/02 5:47:47 AM, [email protected] writes: << It is impossible to lick your elbow. >> I can't do that. Bet Pat can! LOL Sandi

These may not be true, but they made me smile. My best, Patricia It is impossible to lick your elbow. A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out. A shrimp's heart is in their head. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ). It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetic Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Rats and horses can't vomit. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrial or their vehicles? In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders. Most lipstick contains fish scales. Cat's urine glows under a black-light. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. It is physically impossible to stand on your head and eat a blue M&M.

Moment of ZEN 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 9. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 10. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week. 16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade! 19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. 20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! 21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand... 23. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 30. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 31. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 32. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. 33. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 34. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 35. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

In a message dated 1/27/02 12:51:20 PM, [email protected] writes: << Do I like Fry's? Only when I feel like having my teeth pulled.... >> That's why I said what I said. I remember your trek to Fry's I think you might have called the trip to hell. =^..^=

In a message dated 1/27/02 12:30:41 PM, [email protected] writes: << (All together now ......... Awwwwwwww!) >> Cute, cute, cute. =^..^=

The guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes." (All together now ......... Awwwwwwww!)

> Hi Cousins: > > Our oldest son, Sean, who has two Macintosh computers, asked to use ours last > evening and he couldn't believe the lame mouse. I asked what his beef was > all about and he said "Mom, this mouse is dead, you could get a hernia just > pressing down on it to do the moves!" > > Well, I said it didn't bother me, much, and it works. > > Sean went to Fry's today, our Pat's favorite store <LOL>, and got me a new > mouse and that thing has a hair trigger, so to speak! I barely touch it and > open up stuff left and right and I love it. Though, I did open some file I > didn't know a thing about so had to ask Kitten (daughter Kathleen) what it > was and what to do with it! > > What a son! > > Sandi =^..^= You do know that you can set the sensitivity on the mouse, right? Well, we can on the IBM type computers, so I suppose your Mac has a setting for that. If it is too quick for you, dial it down a bit. Do I like Fry's? Only when I feel like having my teeth pulled.... Pat

Ye Ole Newsflash: Ole is Dead Those in Minnesota may not have heard that Ole was shot. He was up with his four-wheeler cutting trees by the Canadian border. Some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him and, using the loudspeaker, shouted, "Who are you and what are you doing?" Ole shouted back, "OLE. BIN LOGGIN'!"

Sandi, you are truly a blessed Mother. Remember the CD-RW drive I was going to install. Welllllll, after 3 false starts, my son came out last Sunday afternoon and did it for me. I have not even had time to try it out yet. He also showed me a lot of things I need to delete, but I was busy playing with our 2 year old granddaughter and didn't play attention. Hey, I am religious about double deleting e-mail when I no longer need it....didn't know there was more to delete! Mary ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, January 26, 2002 9:55 PM Subject: [MAUPIN-CHAT] GOING NUTS WITH THE NEW MOUSE! > Hi Cousins: > > Our oldest son, Sean, who has two Macintosh computers, asked to use ours last > evening and he couldn't believe the lame mouse. I asked what his beef was > all about and he said "Mom, this mouse is dead, you could get a hernia just > pressing down on it to do the moves!" > > Well, I said it didn't bother me, much, and it works. > > Sean went to Fry's today, our Pat's favorite store <LOL>, and got me a new > mouse and that thing has a hair trigger, so to speak! I barely touch it and > open up stuff left and right and I love it. Though, I did open some file I > didn't know a thing about so had to ask Kitten (daughter Kathleen) what it > was and what to do with it! > > What a son! > > Sandi =^..^= > > > ==== MAUPIN-CHAT Mailing List ==== > Free Web space. ANY amount. ANY subject. RootsWeb's Freepages put you in touch with millions. > <http://cgi.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/acctform.cgi> > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 >

Hi Cousins: Our oldest son, Sean, who has two Macintosh computers, asked to use ours last evening and he couldn't believe the lame mouse. I asked what his beef was all about and he said "Mom, this mouse is dead, you could get a hernia just pressing down on it to do the moves!" Well, I said it didn't bother me, much, and it works. Sean went to Fry's today, our Pat's favorite store <LOL>, and got me a new mouse and that thing has a hair trigger, so to speak! I barely touch it and open up stuff left and right and I love it. Though, I did open some file I didn't know a thing about so had to ask Kitten (daughter Kathleen) what it was and what to do with it! What a son! Sandi =^..^=

In a message dated 1/24/02 10:02:48 PM, [email protected] writes: << Greeting from Tasmainian Sea. Norma >> I can't wait to HEAR all about your tour when you get back home! I hope your hubby is doing well. Love, Sandi

And then you still have trouble finding what you need. Greeting from Tasmainian Sea. Norma

WHAT IS A GENEALOGIST? A full-time detective A thorough historian An inveterate snoop A confirmed diplomat A keen observer A hardened sceptic An apt biographer A qualified linguist A part-time lawyer A studious sociologist An accurate reporter An hieroglyphics expert, AND . . . A complete nut! Previously published in RootsWeb Review: Vol. 5, No. 4, 23 January 2002. Thanks to Andrew Billinghurst [email protected] who says he saw it on the [email protected] mailing list.

Hi Cousins: This afternoon my husband, daughter and I went to see the cute movie "Snow Dogs" and did enjoy it. Since our daughter has a Siberian Husky who MUST be exercised daily, we were quite interested to see those Alaskan Huskies in action. If you want to see a delightful movie, I'd recommend this one. Sandi =^..^=

Hi cousins: I found the below site interesting. If you haven't been there, done that, try it! http://www.gti.net/mocolib1/kid/food.html Cuz Sandi

Yes, you are right. But by doing it in the spring it will smother them as they hatch. Jackie

This is the first year we've had enough pecans to actually bake and cook with, besides all those just eaten. But our native pecan trees did absolutely nothing. Mary ----- Original Message ----- From: Pat <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2002 3:06 PM Subject: Re: [MAUPIN-CHAT] PlantsPecans > > > << Any extras > > some here too! :) > > Jackie >> > > > > Everybody wants in on the act! Gees!! LOL > > > > =^..^= > > > Evidently, this was not a good year for pecans. My mom's pecans were wormy > and moldy and some didn't even fill out the shell. > :( > > Pat > > > ==== MAUPIN-CHAT Mailing List ==== > Please don't post private information about living people without permission. All posts are archived. To search RootsWeb list archives: > <http://archiver.rootsweb.com/archives/search.html> > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 >

In a message dated 1/19/02 7:13:29 AM, [email protected] writes: << Any extras some here too! :) Jackie >> Everybody wants in on the act! Gees!! LOL =^..^=

> << Any extras > some here too! :) > Jackie >> > > Everybody wants in on the act! Gees!! LOL > > =^..^= Evidently, this was not a good year for pecans. My mom's pecans were wormy and moldy and some didn't even fill out the shell. :( Pat

> I was told and it works for me that is you do a dormant spray in an above > freezing day in Feb or there abouts, you will kill 90 percent of your > troubling borers. It kills the eggs that are dormant on the plants. This has > the least affect on the birds or bees. Jackie A dormant oil spray works by enveloping something (an insect in this case) inside a suffocating film. There is no way this can kill eggs, as in order to kill something---that something has to be breathing. That is, if you are indeed referring to a dormant oil spray. Pat