Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for such a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, though, I wonder who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."

A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare. The man noticed that he was the object of the woman's rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she prepared to apologize for staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear. "I'll do anything," he whispered in a deep, soft voice. "Anything, absolutely anything you want, anything you have ever fantasized, for fifty dollars. There's just one condition..." Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition. The man said, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The women gazed into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, then reached into her handbag and took out fifty dollars. She scribbled her address on a napkin, folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand. She leaned over and whispered into his ear... "Clean... my... house."

In a message dated 2/17/02 7:28:25 PM, [email protected] writes: << guess so, he can't watch the movies about flying and being in the air. Jackie >> Jackie: When we go to the movies they have a cartoon type of ad that shows a track and "you" are going down and around it FAST. I have to look away as I don't do rollercoasters and I get dizzy. Even telling myself it is just a motion thing, it still registers in my puny little brain. Sandi

guess so, he can't watch the movies about flying and being in the air. Jackie

In a message dated 2/17/02 7:04:37 PM, [email protected] writes: << He gets sick in a porch swing, won't go in a boat of any kind and can't swim. >> Jackie: He must suffer from motion sickness?????

He gets sick in a porch swing, won't go in a boat of any kind and can't swim. As you can figure out we don't travel much! I told him someday I would like to go in a hot air balloon ride and he thinks I am nuts! Jackie

In a message dated 2/17/02 6:43:44 PM, [email protected] writes: << You will NEVER get my husband on a plane. He is so afraid of flying he passed up a great job because he would have to fly. >> Jackie: We are all different! Our daughter is the only one of our children who has never flown and said she never will. I'm okay with flying only because it is the quickest way between point A and point B. But, I just don't feel secure about it just now and hope to get back with it in the future. We all have to go by our own feelings. Sandi

Understand that there are scholarships or students available for members children. That is my one interest. Besides they put a grave marker up for one of my Ephraim Osborne's who died a pulper. Jackie

You will NEVER get my husband on a plane. He is so afraid of flying he passed up a great job because he would have to fly. Jackie

Pat: I didn't read all your remarks on the stuff Patricia sent in. The below was used as a trivia question today on one of my radio stations. If you disagree I'm sure you'd be on the phone with KRLA if you lived out here. Hee, hee, hee. =^..^= ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a message dated 2/17/02 6:04:01 PM, [email protected] writes: << Sandi, You caught me in another goof. Sorry Max Gail and Bette. >> Short Stuff: I didn't catch you at all! And, when it comes to mistakes, who counts? I know, Pat! LOL Sandi ;)

Sandi, You caught me in another goof. Sorry Max Gail and Bette. Norma

Not that I know of. Let me know if you find out about an online database! Patricia In a message dated 02/17/2002 6:01:48 PM Central Standard Time, [email protected] writes: > Wouldn't I be able to access some kind of "members only" database or > something like that? There must be some benefit to being a member other than > the nifty little shield on a spear that my grandmother has on her grave. > > Pat >

In a message dated 2/17/02 4:01:30 PM, [email protected] writes: << They probably don't even know where Chickasha is. Or care. >> Whatever!

Correction: It's Max Gail Maupin and Bettye Maupin. >Sandi, > >You couldn't have two nicer people. I believe Max and Gail are the two my >sister and I met in White Hall, VA and Missouri Maupin Reunion last year. >She always asks me about them. > >Norma > > >==== MAUPIN-CHAT Mailing List ==== >RootsWeb forbids posting of copyrighted material without permission >of the author. Read RootsWeb's Acceptable Use Policy at ><http://www,rootsweb.com/rootsweb/aup.html> > >============================== >To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy >records, go to: >http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237

In response to #22: The St. Louis Rams play in a domed stadium. > > Don't know if all of these are true, but thought Pat could let us know! :) > > Patricia > > > > HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS? > > > > 1. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were > > Fred and Wilma Flintstone. > >I hate to break this news to you, but Fred and Wilma were cartoons, not real >people. Therefore, they don't count as being a couple in bed together. > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 2. Coca-Cola was originally green. > >We could ask them. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 3. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. > >We could ask... > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 4. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. > >Why would this be true? If two people each have 20-20 visions, what >difference would it make if one of them had a penis? >It has been shown that women can hear higher frequencies than men, but maybe >that's because men have hair in their ears? ;p > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 5. The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: > > Alaska > >How on earth would anybody find this out? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 6. The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...) > > 7. The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >Depends what you mean by wilderness, evidently. > > > > 8. The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 > >I once figured out that we spent from $400-$600 a year on our dog, so that >is about right. > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 9. The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: > > 61,000 > >Does this include the ones waiting to takeoff because the plane might have >been listed as "departed"? > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 10. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. > >I know I do. > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 11. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in > > 1910. > >Won't believe it without proof. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 12. The youngest pope was 11 years old. > >And his name would be....what? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 13. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. > >How do we know this? > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 14. Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National > > Monuments. > >Are they "national monuments" in the first place? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 15. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from > > history: > > Spades - King David, > > Hearts - Charlemagne, > > Clubs -Alexander, the Great > > Diamonds - Julius Caesar > >Nope. Don't believe this one. Somebody has a good imagination is all. > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 16. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 > >So, what would 222,222,222 x 222, 222, 222 be and why would we care? > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 17. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs > > in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in > > the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If > > the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural > > causes. > > ~~~~~~~~ >This is the plan, but it isn't always followed. Depends upon the sculptor. > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 18. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, > > John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, > > but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. > >Cite? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 20. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. > >Why would we care? > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 21. Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes > > them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt. > >No, it's because they fit in your lips when the lips are in the kissing >position. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 22. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever > > won Super bowl. > >Dallas has. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 23. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional > > sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after > > the > > Major League all-stars Game. > >What days would that be, so I can check.... > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? > > A. Conception. > >Can you prove which month has the most births, then? > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show? > > A. No theme song > >It's a news show and the news shows on my local channels don't have theme >songs, either. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? > > A. Their birthplace. > >Which half? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat > > name requested? > > A. Obsession > >This has got to be phony because boat owners do not have to "request" a name >from anybody. They just paint one on. > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until > > you would find the letter "A"? > > A. One thousand > >You really must get a life! > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and > > laserprinters all have in common? > > A. All invented by women. > >And many other things, no doubt. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? > > A. Honey > >If you count getting mold on it as spoiling---and I do, then it spoils. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the > > year? > > A. Father's Day > >How would we know this? > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most > > ironic? > > A. He was allergic to carrots. > >- MYTH: Mel Blanc was allergic to carrots. > >This is simply not true - here's an excerpt from Mel's own autobiography: > >I don't especially like carrots, at least not raw. And second, I found it >impossible to chew, swallow, and be ready to say my next line. We tried >substituting other vegetables, including apples and celery, but with >unsatisfactory results. The solution was to stop recording so that I could >spit out the carrot into a wastebasket and then proceed with the script. In >the course of a recording session I usually went through enough carrots to >fill several. Bugs Bunny did for carrots what Popeye the Sailor did for >Spinach. How many lip-locked, head-swelling children were coerced into >eating their carrots by mothers cooing, "...but Bugs Bunny eats HIS >carrots." If only they had known > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party? > > A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet. > >How would this be catalogued? Who would admit to it? > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by > > ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the > > bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight". > >Not just in Shakespeare's time....bed frames were made like this even into >the 1800's. The modern innerspring mattress is only about 100 years old. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 2. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a > > month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law > > with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their > > calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what > > we know today as the honeymoon. > >This came from the same website that the one about Shakespeare came from. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 3. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old > > England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them > > mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the > > phrase mind your P's and Q's" > >So did this one. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 4. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into > > the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they > > used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase > > inspired by this practice. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > 5. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only > > Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English > > language. > > > > > > > > > > > > ==== MAUPIN-CHAT Mailing List ==== > > Please don't post private information about living people without >permission. All posts are archived. To search RootsWeb list archives: > > <http://archiver.rootsweb.com/archives/search.html> > > > > ============================== > > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, >go to: > > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > > > >==== MAUPIN-CHAT Mailing List ==== >Free Web space. ANY amount. ANY subject. RootsWeb's Freepages put >you in touch with millions. ><http://cgi.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/acctform.cgi> > >============================== >To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy >records, go to: >http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237

Bless your heart. I KNEW you would have comments for most of these things! Thanks! :) Patricia

If you want files mailed to you, you still have to pay the $5, member or not. I don't know about going to the DAR headquarters and getting to see those files. Patricia In a message dated 02/17/2002 3:35:50 PM Central Standard Time, [email protected] writes: > The files where people sent in applications for membership so that I don't > have to pay $5 each time I need to find links and connections. > > Also, I need to see the file on 366113 and I'm CHEAP. > > Pat