San Francisco Chronicle Monday, June 11, 2001 Section A, page 17 Banking executive JOSEPH S. KIRBY by Kelly St. John, Chronicle Staff Writer   A memorial service will be held Wednesday for Joseph S. Kirby, a banking executive in the Bay Area for 35 years. Mr. Kirby died Thursday at the Santa Clara Valley Medical Center in San Jose of a cardiac arrest. He was 81. Born in San Francisco, Mr. Kirby grew up in Ross in Marin County. He attended Tamalpais High School and the College of Marin, where he met his wife of 60 years, Dorothy Hitchcock. Mr. Kirby graduated from the University of California at Berkeley in 1940 and entered the military, serving as a lieutenant in the Army Air Force. After the war, Mr. Kirby joined the Oakland office of the Anglo California bank in what he thought would be a temporary job. Instead, his family recalled, he stumbled into a lifelong career. "He was a guy of great integrity, which made him a great banker," said his brother, David Kirby. "He tried to help people, especially those starting their own businesses." A Saratoga resident, Mr. Kirby spent the last 17 years of his career as vice president and manager of the San Jose Main Branch of the Crocker National Bank. He retired in 1984. Mr. Kirby served as a Fellow of the University of Santa Clara and director of the San Jose State University Foundation. He served as director of both the San Jose Chamber of Commerce and San Jose Lions Club, and served as president of the Sunnyvale Kiwanis. Mr. Kirby is survived by his wife, Dorothy Kirby of Saratoga; two sons, David Kirby of San Jose and Stephen Kirby of Seattle; a brother, David Kirby of Palo Alto; and two grandchildren, Jason and Valerie Kirby of San Jose. A memorial service will be held Wednesday at 2 p.m. at St. Andrews Episcopal Church, 13601 Saratoga Ave., Saratoga.