Hi Allison I have double that situation. My father is adopted and my husband is adopted. We know both my fathers birth parents and my husband knows his birth mother. My dad, who is 68, actually met his birth grandfather, and his uncle and his wife and son. They were very pleased to meet us and gave my father alot of information. My dads adopted family has been nothing but accepting of him and is even called son by most of his family, who all know he is adopted. The only issue is that I just don't tell the adopted family that I am researching the birth family. It would hurt their feeling because they just don't concidered him differant from the rest of the family. When I talk to extended family researchers from the adopted line I just don't say anything about him being adopted. If they don't already know I never bring it up. My dad has the same name as my grandfather, is the oldest, and has two sibling who where not adopted so it all "seems normal". All that said, I believe that it really depends on the researcher. Some are what I call "real bloodline snobs". Others are interested in the entire family, whatever the family was. To me it is a differance between Family History and Family Lineage. I say keep researching and connecting. If they choice to be rude than that is their lose. They are the ones who are missing out on stories of family, courage, and love. Martha Carpenter ----- Original Message ----- From: "Allison Bartsch" <rb1000@hotmail.com> To: <laorlean@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:57 PM Subject: [LAORLEAN] adoption & genealogy > Hi Nova, > > I have a question to ask the list. I was lucky enough to have the > genealogy of my father's family done for me by an uncle years before I was > born. I had always been interested in family history because it was there > for me to know. My father's family had been on the Mississippi Coast > (Biloxi) since D'Iberville landed. > > Nobody had done research on my mother's family, which is from New Orleans. > My mother is adopted and there in comes the issue. My mother did not want > me to pursue her biological family. My grandmother adopted three little > girls, from the Protestant Home for Babies, in New Orleans. I even have > mother's adoption papers with her birth mother's name listed. But none of > the sisters have expressed any interest in their biological roots. > However, they were eager for me to do research on their adopted family. > Which I have done, with some measure of success. > > Apparently adoption is a volatile subject in genealogy. Recently, I have > had two "cousins" stop corresponding with me as soon as they found out my > mother was adopted. This has occurred within the last 6 months. > > I don't really know how to feel about this, it is quite upsetting. I > dared not tell my mother or her sisters, because I would never say or do > anything that would shame them about their adoption. > > Closer family members have done nothing but encourage me in my research. > But I have had the snub happen before when I first started doing research, > about six years ago. > > Can someone educate me about the prevailing attitude toward adoptees in > genealogy? Are these snubs common for adoptees? Am I wrong in thinking > that my mother's adopted family is just as legitimate as blood? I have > and would never claim any type of heritage for joining associations like > the DAR or their like. My grandmother was a great lady, and she chose my > mother and her sisters to be her family, I don't see why we can't be her > family too. > > Thank you for your consideration of this matter. > > Allison Eleuterius Bartsch > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > LAORLEAN-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message >

Well said, Martha! Very nice. On 4/4/08, Martha Carpenter <mbarker@austin.rr.com> wrote: > > Hi Allison > > I have double that situation. My father is adopted and my husband is > adopted. We know both my fathers birth parents and my husband knows his > birth mother. My dad, who is 68, actually met his birth grandfather, and > his uncle and his wife and son. They were very pleased to meet us and > gave > my father alot of information. My dads adopted family has been nothing > but > accepting of him and is even called son by most of his family, who all > know > he is adopted. The only issue is that I just don't tell the adopted > family > that I am researching the birth family. It would hurt their feeling > because > they just don't concidered him differant from the rest of the > family. When > I talk to extended family researchers from the adopted line I just don't > say > anything about him being adopted. If they don't already know I never > bring > it up. My dad has the same name as my grandfather, is the oldest, and has > two sibling who where not adopted so it all "seems normal". > All that said, I believe that it really depends on the researcher. > Some are what I call "real bloodline snobs". Others are interested in the > entire family, whatever the family was. To me it is a differance between > Family History and Family Lineage. I say keep researching and > connecting. > If they choice to be rude than that is their lose. They are the ones who > are missing out on stories of family, courage, and love. > > Martha Carpenter > > > > > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Allison Bartsch" <rb1000@hotmail.com> > To: <laorlean@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:57 PM > Subject: [LAORLEAN] adoption & genealogy > > > > Hi Nova, > > > > I have a question to ask the list. I was lucky enough to have the > > genealogy of my father's family done for me by an uncle years before I > was > > born. I had always been interested in family history because it was > there > > for me to know. My father's family had been on the Mississippi Coast > > (Biloxi) since D'Iberville landed. > > > > Nobody had done research on my mother's family, which is from New > Orleans. > > My mother is adopted and there in comes the issue. My mother did not > want > > me to pursue her biological family. My grandmother adopted three little > > girls, from the Protestant Home for Babies, in New Orleans. I even have > > mother's adoption papers with her birth mother's name listed. But none > of > > the sisters have expressed any interest in their biological roots. > > However, they were eager for me to do research on their adopted family. > > Which I have done, with some measure of success. > > > > Apparently adoption is a volatile subject in genealogy. Recently, I > have > > had two "cousins" stop corresponding with me as soon as they found out > my > > mother was adopted. This has occurred within the last 6 months. > > > > I don't really know how to feel about this, it is quite upsetting. I > > dared not tell my mother or her sisters, because I would never say or do > > anything that would shame them about their adoption. > > > > Closer family members have done nothing but encourage me in my research. > > But I have had the snub happen before when I first started doing > research, > > about six years ago. > > > > Can someone educate me about the prevailing attitude toward adoptees in > > genealogy? Are these snubs common for adoptees? Am I wrong in thinking > > that my mother's adopted family is just as legitimate as blood? I have > > and would never claim any type of heritage for joining associations like > > the DAR or their like. My grandmother was a great lady, and she chose > my > > mother and her sisters to be her family, I don't see why we can't be her > > family too. > > > > Thank you for your consideration of this matter. > > > > Allison Eleuterius Bartsch > > > > > > ------------------------------- > > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > > LAORLEAN-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > > quotes in the subject and the body of the message > > > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > LAORLEAN-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message >

Martha, Just wanted to say that your answer, I think, was right on target. My daughter is adopted and will fight anyone who says she is not fully and completely part of our family. Of course she does work with foster and adopted children so understands the feelings a whole lot better than most. Given the opportunity to try and locate her "birth mother", she said no, it was not important and she just wanted to thank her. So everyone is different. My other adopted son knows his parents, but has not seen or contacted them in about 25+ years. Says they are not important anymore. I would also have to question, that unless someone wants to join some bloodline group what difference it could make, but that is just me. My father's birth record is no where to be found, and an old family bible was used to get a death certificate back in 1958, so since that bible records stated the following: A. P. Baumgartner married Bertie Byrd about 1911. H. L. Baumgartner was born about 1906" should I assume that he was adopted, born "out of wedlock", or a child of another man? Do I leave my father off of my tree, NO, I do not. Does this make me any less connected to New Orleans where A. P. was born? Leaving various ancestors out can really be complicated. Do what feels right for you. If you find some "adopted" or "born out of wedlock" ancestors, do what you want with that info. It is not necessary to announce the fact. For me, family is family is family. But then I have (2) bloodline children, (2) adopted children (4) bloodline grandchildren and (3) grandchildren of adopted children and 3 adopted children of adopted children. Did you get all that???? Do I love any of them differently? What do you think. Jan S - Orlando, FL -------Original Message------- From: Martha Carpenter Date: 4/4/2008 7:28:16 PM To: laorlean@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [LAORLEAN] adoption & genealogy Hi Allison I have double that situation. My father is adopted and my husband is adopted. We know both my fathers birth parents and my husband knows his birth mother. My dad, who is 68, actually met his birth grandfather, and his uncle and his wife and son. They were very pleased to meet us and gave my father alot of information. My dads adopted family has been nothing but accepting of him and is even called son by most of his family, who all know he is adopted. The only issue is that I just don't tell the adopted family that I am researching the birth family. It would hurt their feeling because they just don't concidered him differant from the rest of the family. When I talk to extended family researchers from the adopted line I just don't say anything about him being adopted. If they don't already know I never bring it up. My dad has the same name as my grandfather, is the oldest, and has two sibling who where not adopted so it all "seems normal". All that said, I believe that it really depends on the researcher. Some are what I call "real bloodline snobs". Others are interested in the entire family, whatever the family was. To me it is a differance between Family History and Family Lineage. I say keep researching and connecting. If they choice to be rude than that is their lose. They are the ones who are missing out on stories of family, courage, and love. Martha Carpenter