Hi Martha, Thanks for your comments. Maybe part of my problem is that I tell everyone that my mother and her sisters are adopted. I felt like I was supposed to disclose that information. I was very frustrated last week because I sent a lot of good stuff that took me years to compile, to a "cousin" in Georgia. She had family letters that mentioned my great grandfather and his exploits. I sent the cousin the obit, and a picture of his headstone, and a scanned copy of confederate notes which bear his signature. In return, I was hoping she would send me copies of the letters mentioning my great grandfather. I haven't heard a word from her since my email mentioned the adoptions. And now I am sure I can't get the information because I am not blood family. I feel like a cartoon character with steam streaming from my ears. If I hadn't been so stupid, I might have gotten the information. I just didn't know to keep my mouth shut. I can't research my mother's biological family now. She is all up in my business and she would find out. It would be like her childhood whenever stupid people told her that she was not really family to her mother and father. So, I can't do any research on her biological family. I made a promise that I am going to keep. But this has been so upsetting because I really wanted the information in the family letters. And now I am left with the impression that I don't deserve to have it because I am not really family. That sucks. Anyway, I felt like I had to speak for the adoptees out there. I hoped that we are far enough along with our society that we were past trying to shame adoptees, but apparently some knuckle-draggers out there haven't evolved enough to render the defense unnecessary. Allison Eleuterius Bartsch

The problem of sending information to relatives and having them snub you afterwards is not confined to adoptees. After you've be at this a while, you learn to hold back on some of the "good stuff" until you get something you want in return. I've already sent relatives info that took me 20 years and tons of money to compile only to hear them say, "is that it?" Needless to say, they didn't get any more. Fortunately, the vast majority are not like this. Judy Riffel Baton Rouge ----- Original Message ----- From: "Allison Bartsch" <rb1000@hotmail.com> To: <laorlean@rootsweb.com> Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 6:45 PM Subject: Re: [LAORLEAN] adoption & genealogy > Hi Martha, > > Thanks for your comments. Maybe part of my problem is that I tell > everyone > that my mother and her sisters are adopted. I felt like I was supposed to > disclose that information. I was very frustrated last week because I sent > a > lot of good stuff that took me years to compile, to a "cousin" in Georgia. > > She had family letters that mentioned my great grandfather and his > exploits. > I sent the cousin the obit, and a picture of his headstone, and a scanned > copy of confederate notes which bear his signature. In return, I was > hoping > she would send me copies of the letters mentioning my great grandfather. > I > haven't heard a word from her since my email mentioned the adoptions. And > now I am sure I can't get the information because I am not blood family. > I > feel like a cartoon character with steam streaming from my ears. If I > hadn't been so stupid, I might have gotten the information. I just didn't > know to keep my mouth shut. > > I can't research my mother's biological family now. She is all up in my > business and she would find out. It would be like her childhood whenever > stupid people told her that she was not really family to her mother and > father. So, I can't do any research on her biological family. I made a > promise that I am going to keep. > > But this has been so upsetting because I really wanted the information in > the family letters. And now I am left with the impression that I don't > deserve to have it because I am not really family. That sucks. > > Anyway, I felt like I had to speak for the adoptees out there. I hoped > that > we are far enough along with our society that we were past trying to shame > adoptees, but apparently some knuckle-draggers out there haven't evolved > enough to render the defense unnecessary. > > Allison Eleuterius Bartsch > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > LAORLEAN-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message >