This has been going the rounds for a few years and for those of us from across the pond it gives us a hearty chuckle or two each time. Hope you enjoy this tongue in the cheek Christmas wishes from “oor ain folk.” Maisie Subject: Fw: THE WEE SCOTTISH CHRISTMAS FAIRY Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2013 14:16:25 -0500 The Wee Scottish Christmas Fairy I am a little wee fairy On tap o' the Christmas Tree It's no' a job I fancy Well how would you like tae be me A’ tarted up wi' tinsel It's enough to mak ye boak An’ a couple o' jaggy branches Rammed up the back o' your frock An' these wee lights a' roon me I cannae get my sleep An' there's the yearly visit Fae Santa - Big fat creep! On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here While you're a' wirin' in An' naebody says "Hey, you up there Could you go a slug o' gin? It's nae joke bein' a fairy The job's beyond belief You've got to go roon' the wean's beds An' lift their rotten teeth But o' a' the joabs a fairy gets An' I've mentioned only some The very worst is sitting up a tree Wi' pine needles up yir bum When a' the fairies meet again By the light o’ the silvery moon Ye can tell the Christmas fairies They're the wans that canna sit doon The Christmas tree's a bonny sight As the firelight softly flickers But think o' me I'm stuck up here Wi' needles in my knickers So soon as Christmas time's right by An' I stop bein' sae full o' cheer I'll get awa back tae Fairyland An' I'll see yous a' next year.

Thanks for that, Maisie! A Merry Christmas to you and yours, and A Good New Year when it comes. John and Jean in New Zealand