TIP #563 - A BOO-TIFUL TIP Ok - I've tried to teach, tutor, find illusive names; explain terms, and talked of many things. This is such a boo-tiful tip for this time of year; I just had to do it! We genealogists get too serious sometimes so - Enjoy. We're going to take a tour of some legit but unusual epitaphs. Sandi Effie Jean Robinson 1897-1922. Come blooming youths, as you pass by, And on these lines do cast an eye. As you are now, so once was I; As I am now, so must you be; Prepare for death and follow me. Underneath, someone had added: To follow you I am not content, How do I know Which way you went? He was young, He was fair But the Injuns Raised his hair Here lays Butch. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. Here lies the body Of Margaret Bent. She kicked up her heels and away she went. Rebecca Freeland, 1741. She drank good ale, good punch and wine. And lived to the age of 99. In memory of Anna Hopewell. Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. On a grave digger: Hooray my brave boys, Lets rejoice at his fall. For if he had lived, He would have buried us all. On Ezekiel Pease: Pease is not here, Only his pod. He shelled out his Peas And went to his God. On an attorney: Goembel. John E. 1867-1946. "The defense rests" On an Auctioneer: Jedediah Goodwin, Auctioneer, Born 1828. Going! Going!! Gone!!! 1876 Sacred to the memory of: Major James Brush Royal Artillery, who was killed by the accidental discharge of a pistol by his orderly, 14th April 1831. Well done, good and faithful servant. Ann Mann. Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. December, England Beneath this silent stone is laid A noisy, antiquated maid, Who from her cradle talked to death, And never before was out of breath. Here lies, returned to clay Miss Arabella Young, Who on the eleventh day of May Began to hold her tongue. 1794-1863 She lived with her husband for 50 years And died in the confident hope of a better life. We hope her soul is with the Lord. But if for hell she's changed this life, Better live there than as J. Ford's wife. Grieve not for me my husband dear. I am not dead but sleeping here. With patience wait - perforce to die, And in a short time you'll come to I. And the husband added: I am not grieved, my dearest wife. Sleep on, I've got another wife. Therefore, I cannot come to thee For I must go and live with she. 1796 -- WISE - 1878. Here lies the body of Ephraim Wise. Safely tucked between his two wives. One was Tillie and the other Sue. Both were faithful, loyal, and true. By his request in ground that's hilly His coffin is set tilted toward Tillie. Sacred to the memory of My husband John Barnes Who died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. Anna Wallace. The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna; Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the devil sent him Anna. Here beneath this stone we lie - Back to back my wife and I. And when the angels trump shall trill If she gets up then I'll lie still! They abounded in riches But she wore the britches ... Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up And no place to go. I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours. On the four husbands of Ivy Saunders: Here lies my husbands 1 - 2 - 3. As still as men could ever be. As for the fourth: Praise be to God, He still abides above the sod: Abel, Seth and Leidy were the first 3 names (the fourth was James) The dust of Melantha Gribbling Swept up at last by the Great Housekeeper On a hypochondriac's grave: See. I told you I was sick! Here beneath this pile of stones Lies all that's left of Sally Jones. Her name was Smith, not Jones, But Jones was used to rhyme with stones. Beneath this stone a lump of clay Lies Uncle Peter Dan'els. Who early in the month of May Took off his winter flannels. Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. Ellen Shannon, age 26 years Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R. E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid." Harry Edsel Smith Born 1903 - Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder She burst while drinking a Seidlitz powder. Called from this world to her heavenly rest, She should have waited till it effervesced. First a Cough Carried Me Off. Then a Coffin They Carried Me Off In Blown upward out of sight: He sought the leak by candlelight On Joseph Crapp: His foot is slipt and he did fall. "Help; Help" he cried and that was all. Here Lies Jane Smith Wife of Thomas Smith, Marble Cutter: This Monument Erected By Her Husband As A Tribute To Her Memory. Monuments of this style are 250 Dollars. Sacred To The Remains of Jonathan Thompson A Pious Christian and Affectionate Husband. His disconsolate widow Continues to carry on His grocery business At the old stand on Main Street: Cheapest and best prices in town. Arthur C. Homan's epitaph: Once I wasn't, Then I was, Now I ain't again. She lived with her husband fifty years And died in the confident hope of a better life. Here lies my wife: Here let her lie! Now she's at rest, And so am I. In closing: Do you have any haunted houses near you? Click on http://www.hauntedhouses.com/map.htm to find out! © Copyright 27 Oct 2005, Sandra K. Gorin Sandi's Puzzlers: http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~gensoup/gorin/puz.html SCKY Links: http://www.public.asu.edu/~moore/Gorin.html GGP: http://ggpublishing.tripod.com/