Sound familiar?? >I OWE MY MOTHER... >>> >>>1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . >>>"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished >>>cleaning." >>> >>>2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out >>>of the carpet." >>> >>>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .. "If you don't straighten >>>up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" >>> >>>4. My mother taught me LOGIC . " Because I said so, that's why." >>> >>>5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and > >>>break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." >>> >>>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean >>>underwear, >in >>>case you're in an accident." >>> >>>7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you >>>something >to >>>cry >>>about." >>> >>>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth >and >>>eat your supper." >>> >>>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that >>>dirt >on >>>the back of your neck!" >>> >>>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . "You'll sit there until all >>>that spinach is gone." >>> >>>11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as >>>if a tornado went through it." >>> >>>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once, I've >>>told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" >>>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this >>>world, and I can take you out." >>> >>>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like >your >>>father!" >>> >>>15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less >>>fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like > >>>you do." >>> >>>16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get >home." >>> >>>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when >you >>>get home!" >>> >>>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop ! crossing >your >>>eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." >>> >>>19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I >>>know when you are cold?" >>> >>>20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your >>>toes, don't come running to me." >>> >>>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your > >>>vegetables, you'll never grow up." >>> >>>22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." >>> >>>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do >you >>>think you were born in a barn?" >>> >>>24. My mother taught me WISDOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll >>>understand." >>> >>>25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day >>>you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you