I MAY WANT TO BE A PARATROOPER By Jess Wilson Some time during World War 2, I happened to read an article on the qualifications for joining the paratroopers or some such special outfits. One thing that disqualified a soldier was to have undershot front teeth. It was then I noticed that my lower teeth were behind my upper teeth. Through a series of accidents I lost six of my lower front teeth which were replaced by a detachable bridge that hinged on two teeth at each side. The first tooth on each side was covered with a plate of metal which protected that tooth from wear. After some years when I removed the detachable it revealed the two long tusks. The removable bridge worked satisfactorily for several years. I could even eat tinder corn on the cob. While in New England at the reception of our granddaughter`s college graduation one of the long teeth snapped when I bit into an ear of corn that was not tinder. I managed not to swallow the tooth and the detachable would stay in place as it anchored to two teeth on each side. The problem was the empty space where the broken tooth had been. My tongue kept trying to feel the space. You can remember when you lost a baby tooth. Oldsters would tell you that if you never put your tongue into the missing place that a golden tooth would grow back and you could never resist the temptation to explore the empty space? On our trip home while we were eating lunch, I was trying to fill the empty space with a bit of paper napkin when daughter Gail suggested candle wax. We asked the waitress for a candle and I chewed bits of the candle into the empty space and then I was more comfortable. A cell-phone call to my dentist got me an appointment when we got to Richmond. When we arrived the dentist glued the broken tooth to the removable which did the job better than eating a candle. The dentist quickly agreed with me that I needed a new plate. Ruth and the daughters had fussed for years that because the removable made my jaw to appear to thrust forward, I was not, they may have said hansom, as I looked before. They argued that a new detachable that conformed to the way my lower teeth were originally would be worth the money. So, some time after next week I will be sporting a new detachable that improves the way my wife and daughters see me. But, I will lack one qualification should I ever want to be a paratrooper. I may keep the old set just in case there is a World War 3, and I have an urge to be a paratrooper...