Well, Randy - I can qualify for #3 - we have a cattle auction here every Wednesday - and the auctioneer just happens to be the chairman of deacons at our church. It'll be a piece of cake. Nina ---------- Original Message ---------------------------------- From: Rkkcak@aol.com Reply-To: KILGORE-L@rootsweb.com Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2001 22:58:22 EST >Okay, so here's qualifying event #2: Wearing your purple boxers over your >everyday clothes, (ladies, its generally easier to wear slacks, since the >nature of boxers makes them difficult to wear over dresses and skirts) take a >stroll down the busiest streets in your community. Pay careful attention to >the people you encounter. > >A. Each time you see a man in a business suit, stop him and ask him if he's a >Russian spy. If he says yes, take him to a local police officer and tell him >you've just captured a Russian spy. He will be very grateful. > >B. Each time you see a woman in a business suit, stop her and ask her if >she's your sister. If she says yes, take her to your mother and tell her >you've just captured a Russian sister. She will be very grateful. > >C. Each time you see a member of the clergy, a police officer or a city >council member, stick your head in a paper bag and shout as loud as possible >(remember the bag will muffle the sound, so you'll need to really belt it >out), "I am an inanimate ostrich!". This of course, will be immediately >recognized by these esteemed members of society as a symbolic social >commentary on our culture's unwillingness to adopt the pickle as our national >vegetable. > >Once the police officer has accepted custody of your Russian spy, your mother >files adoption papers for your new sister or your committal papers are >signed, your membership in the Kilgore board will be automatically renewed. > >Qualifying event #3: > >Check your local newspapers for the time and place of the next cattle >auction. Dressed in our traditional undercover outfit (devoid of any remnant >of purple boxer cloth), the spotted black and white toga, stand immediately >behind the auctioneer and go "Moo" every time he speaks. > >As he or she grows more terse, consider singing "Yippe, Ti, Yi, Yo, Git Along >Little Dogie", making shooing signs with your hands while doing so. Though >not actually field-tested, we believe this will coerce them into leaving the >platform. Step quickly to the microphone and auction off one cow at any >price. Once the sale is consummated, your membership in the Kilgore Board >will be automatically renewed. > >Gail, our faithful board chairperson, and Jerry, our illustrious board >founder, have both worked diligently to set up exhaustive networks with the >clergy, Russian spies, police officers and cow auctioneers, so no paperwork >is required. Your new membership password will be sent to you soon after you >successfully complete your renewal activity. > >Warm regards, >Randy > > >==== KILGORE Mailing List ==== >ANY COMPLAINTS email to KILGORE-admin@rootsweb.com, NOT to list. > > ________________________________________________________________ Sent via the WebMail system at wcnet.net