Thank You!! Thank you for your kind words, that really helped. I think I was really feeling bad to have to reveal some things to my five living first cousins. Everyone felt bad. That was difficult. It wasn't a pride thing. (I lost that a long time ago.) What is amazing was that it was like breaking down a wall, so I can move forward. Then with that, you can forgive with time.( I think they call that healing.) In those days things were kept a secret, never dealt with. That really causes confusion & pain. It makes it very hard to do research, too. I think I am starting to feel like a detective or a snoop, not a family historian. I really do appreciate all the help on this board!!!! Carolyn ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gail Meyer Kilgore" <gkilgore@primenet.com> To: <KILGORE-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2001 10:34 AM Subject: Re: [KILGORE] This is not what I expected > Carolyn, > > You shouldn't feel that way. We are people, we are human and someone has > had to do bad things or things that people like to keep in the closets and > sometimes those bad things happen in our own families. Back in them days > people tried to keep things closed up but we are more open minded now and > can accept what our ancestors did or didn't do. My grandfather was a wanted > man in Germany and he fled the country and went to the Gold Coast of Africa > and worked in the Gold Mines until he could earn enough money to come to > America. He went back into Germany to give my grandmother mother and then > fled again. He may have been wanted for murder as the family tells it but > he did that, not me and he had to suffer for his wrong doings in his life. > He is answering to God for his wrong doings and now that is part of the > history in our family. One of those little stories that add spice to life. > Good or bad, I still loved him, he was after all, my grandfather. > > Some men had mega wives and mega kids and never got divorced. Some were > murders and some paid for their mistakes. That is what history is all > about. > > Gail > > > ==== KILGORE Mailing List ==== > You are about to enter the KILGORE ZONE! Beware of the wit and the zany members and their doings! But they are ALL family! > >

Carolyn, You almost have to be a detective or snoop to find anything. If you are satisfied with just dates that is ok, but to really get the feel of your ancestors whether good or bad, you have to dig and uncover. My grandmother's nephew in Germany wrote to me and asked me where his Uncle was and where did he go. Now how do you answer a person that you have never met and tell him that family rumor was that he and my mean old 5'7 grandfather got into a fight with him and no one ever heard from him again. It left questions like, did my grandfather kill his brother-in-law, maybe my grandmother's brother was sent over here to bring her back to Germany as she was miserable here without her family and that may have started the fight... but it sure seems strange that my grandmother never heard from her brother again. I have even asked my sister if we should ask the police dept. if any bones had ever been found on my grandfather's property that he farmed or if there were any bodies that were never identified found in the river or something. I mean this is gruesome thoughts but what happened to him? Some say that he may have tried to go back to Germany and the ship sank...can't find any records of sunken ships or ships that were sunk from here to Germany during WWI. so, since I have found nothing and nothing has been confirmed except he never returned to Germany, I keep a pleasant thought that he moved to IA and got connections in the Ostfriesen settlements there, married and had his own family...BUT, why did he never contact his parents again??? Always that question....and then when you go back into the 1600 and 1700's remember that a lot of criminals were sent here to the Colonies so bad things lurk in all lines. Gail