My mother-in-law gave me this many years ago and I was going thru things tonight and found it and thought I would post this to the list. Ona my firsta day inna America I go outa to eata breakfast. I aska the waitress for coffee ana two pisses of toast, but she bringa me only one poss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She tella me toa go to the toilet. I tella her she no understand. I wanna two piss ona the table. she tella me "You better not wanna piss ona the table you sonna bitch" I justa met her ana she calla me a sonna bitch. After that I goa out ana decide to lata bunch. The waitress bringa me a knif ana spoon but no fock. I tella the waitress I wanna fock. she tella me "Everyone wanna fock." I tella her she noa understand me. I wanna fock ona table. she say You better not wanna fock ona table, you sonna bitch." I decida to go backa to my hotel. I finda that my bed hasa only onea sheet. I tella the manager I wanna sheet. He tella me toa go toa the toilet. I sana "You noa understand me. I wanna sheet ona my bed." He tella me "Youa better nota sheet ona the bed, you sonna bitch." I walk outa the door anna someone saya "Peace on youa," Soa I saya "Pissona you, you sonna bitch" tomorrow I go back to Italy. dkelly@nebi.com -- [This message was sent using an evaluation copy of IMail Server for Windows NT, a product of Ipswitch, Inc.]