This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: timelsasser Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8679.1.1.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: No, it doesn't seem like any of the links you (John) posted are them. I know definitely that the 1911 census is... http://www.census.nationalarchives.ie/pages/1911/Mayo/Kilbeagh/Clooncous/740477/ Because my great grandmother's sister's name was Mary Ellen and was paralyzed and in the census it says Mary is invalided. So that one is definitely them, the 1901 census however I didn't see any that looked right. Okay, after looking again I may have found the right 1901 census. Thomas is the right age and Bridgett is close, but the occupations were right and both Bridgetts are widows... http://www.census.nationalarchives.ie/pages/1901/Mayo/Kilbeagh/Clooncours/1598769/ I'm getting some hints so I'm not sure. Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: KateRenner Surnames: Dogherty, Doherty, Kneafsey Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680.2/mb.ashx Message Board Post: I will share what might help on the Ireland end. Most American records don't seem to list villages or more detail, just birth place "Ireland." I was in a similar situation to you a couple years ago and I posted on this board all that I knew about my grandmother's family, siblings and birthdates. Someone with access to the BVRI (British Vital Records Index) found a couple of the births reported that matched to my dates so I was able to identify their village and county, and write for actual copies of records. They were born in Foxford, County Mayo, although many Doherty/Doghertys came from Donegal and Sligo. I visited Foxford, Mayo last summer which was where my grandmother Katharine Dogherty was born and met some Doherty relatives. I recall meeting one man who said his ealiest known ancestor was Martin Doherty who married Catherine Kneafsey circa 1875. They had eleven children, nine sons and two daughters and are buried in the Craggagh cemetery. According to the tombstone, Martin died in 1928, and his wife in 1938. Their daughter Maggie died in 1928, son Patrick in 1937 and son John in 1957. Their son Hugh (Eogh in Gaelic) was his father and was born in 1900 and I do not know when he died. Other uncles were Michael who died in the early 1930s from the effects of the Great War and another who was a lawyer living in America who died in 1972. He had other uncles who lived in Boston, Chicago and Dubuque. That may be a lead for you. Happy to give more details via the message feature. Kate Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: ngentry8 Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8678.1.1.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: Thank you so much for looking this up for me. It is what I was looking for. Much appreciated. Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: maryellenchambers Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680.1.1.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: As Diane has suggested, you need to start in USA first. Since we have researched in Essex County MA, we found a great deal of data in that county and even the state of MA. Check out the naturalization application & final papers. All my husband's ancestors from Salem & Peabody had much more data that my ancestors in OH on their Naturalization. This is for the timeline of 1850 - 1870 with arrival date, origin, embarkation date & from where. Apply for Death Certificates which may have more than just Ireland. If your immigrant ancestor married in Boston, you might personally go to the church and/or Diocese Archives for the record of the marriage. We found a personal visit got us more than a copy of the marriage certificate. It had parents names, village/townland origin, baptism date, etc. Census records, especially 1900 USA. School records, RC from the Diocese Archives and Protestant from Civil records. Ancestor in military; American Civil War, Spanish American, WW I & II. Just some suggestions. Mary Ellen Chambers Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: drod423 Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680.1.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: Thanks for your quick reply. I appreciate it and will take your lead praying for hard results. I have been researching for a couple of years now through ancestry, familysearch, newspapers, etc. I found many blurbs and tidbits in the newspapers but no real obit info. They were parishioners at the Gate of Heaven Church in South Boston so I may find more info down that road. You have been kind and helpful. Thanks. Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: DianeCulhane46 Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: Since you have no information on where they came from in Ireland, better to post to the Boston or Suffolk County lists, search for obituaries and naturalization and immigration records. Be sure to indicate when John and the others were born and where John and Margaret emigrated and married. Diane Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: drod423 Surnames: Doherty Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8681/mb.ashx Message Board Post: My ggrandfather John J. Doherty lived in South Boston, MA on 844 E. Fourth St. around 1880-1900. His wife was Margaret (Maggie) Mary Doherty née Power. Margaret's mother, Honora (Callanan) Power also lived with them. John and Margaret children were: Robert (died in infancy possibly), William Henry, John J., Mary Margaret, Walter G., Daniel Albert, and Francis Robert (my grandfather). Mary Doherty (Mooney) later lived in Southboro, ma. Daniel Doherty later lived in Portsmouth, NH? Walter Doherty may have been a dentist or in the dental industry? My father Francis Robert Doherty Jr. was an only child, as am I. Therefore, I have no living Doherty relatives (that I know of). Looking for any info you can provide for this immigrant family. My eventual goal is to uncover what part of Ireland they came from. Please help with my search. Thanks. :-) Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: drod423 Surnames: Doherty Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680/mb.ashx Message Board Post: My ggrandfather John J. Doherty lived in South Boston, MA on 844 E. Fourth St. around 1880-1900. His wife was Margaret (Maggie) Mary Doherty née Power. Margaret's mother, Honora (Callanan) Power also lived with them. John and Margaret children were: Robert (died in infancy possibly), William Henry, John J., Mary Margaret, Walter G., Daniel Albert, and Francis Robert (my grandfather). Mary Doherty (Mooney) later lived in Southboro, ma. Daniel Doherty later lived in Portsmouth, NH? Walter Doherty may have been a dentist or in the dental industry? My father Francis Robert Doherty Jr. was an only child, as am I. Therefore, I have no living Doherty relatives (that I know of). Looking for any info you can provide for this immigrant family. My eventual goal is to uncover what part of Ireland they came from. Please help with my search. Thanks. :-) Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

Many people named Power(s) come from the Waterford area. On Jan 18, 2013, at 12:32 PM, gc-gateway@rootsweb.com wrote: > This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. > > Author: drod423 > Surnames: > Classification: queries > > Message Board URL: > > http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8680.1.1/mb.ashx > > Message Board Post: > > Thanks for your quick reply. I appreciate it and will take your lead praying for hard results. I have been researching for a couple of years now through ancestry, familysearch, newspapers, etc. I found many blurbs and tidbits in the newspapers but no real obit info. They were parishioners at the Gate of Heaven Church in South Boston so I may find more info down that road. You have been kind and helpful. > Thanks. > > Important Note: > The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board. > > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

May I suggest the Flip-Pal scanner. I love it. It is small enough to carry but also scans large items using multiple scan stitching software. It is battery operated, safe and easy to use, and can be used with a wireless memory card to transfer the scans to your computer or online photo site. I take it anywhere I may find photos that people don't want to let go of. They are usually amazed at the results. I have copies printed and give them a copy for their kindness and usually they are then more willing to release other photos. Good luck. -----Original Message----- From: irl-mayo-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:irl-mayo-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of M J Morrow Sent: Friday, January 18, 2013 3:14 PM To: Ireland MAYO Subject: [IRL-MAYO] Getting Photos copied from stubborn relatives Mike is right-on that the fear of damage or never seeing the photos again is realistic. We all know of sad situations where this has happened. April's suggested use of a camera stand set-up is the absolute best way to photograph any document, Bible, or old photo. Sometimes, you are taken by surprise at what someone suddenly hauls out to show you. Be prepared. Getting photos copied from reluctant or stubborn relatives can also be as quick and unobtrusive as using your hand-held digital camera. Have it set for high resolution before you go; this might have to compensate for poor lighting or shaky hand. Have a relaxed visit and chat over the items first. Take a photo of the 'owner' holding the item. Once they see no harm done, they might relax. Don't make a big fuss that adds to their apprehension. Move your lens setting to close-up for the documents or old photographs. Decide on best room light, which can be simply ambient daylight. Take 2: flash and no-flash. Stabilize your camera by using the tiny view-finder, camera resting against your head. Use the back screen for checking to see if you got a good image. Now, what does one do with one dear old hermit cousin that won't even let a delightful niece in the door? Currently, one of our distant branches has this situation where they all know the trunks of family mementos exist because they used to visit his late mother who would review them with the kids. Their only solution seems to be to wait. But what family joy the fellow is missing out on. Any and all tried-and-true suggestions are needed. Thanks to all who make this Mayo List always one of the most helpful out there. Maureen MM ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Mike is right-on that the fear of damage or never seeing the photos again is realistic. We all know of sad situations where this has happened. April's suggested use of a camera stand set-up is the absolute best way to photograph any document, Bible, or old photo. Sometimes, you are taken by surprise at what someone suddenly hauls out to show you. Be prepared. Getting photos copied from reluctant or stubborn relatives can also be as quick and unobtrusive as using your hand-held digital camera. Have it set for high resolution before you go; this might have to compensate for poor lighting or shaky hand. Have a relaxed visit and chat over the items first. Take a photo of the 'owner' holding the item. Once they see no harm done, they might relax. Don't make a big fuss that adds to their apprehension. Move your lens setting to close-up for the documents or old photographs. Decide on best room light, which can be simply ambient daylight. Take 2: flash and no-flash. Stabilize your camera by using the tiny view-finder, camera resting against your head. Use the back screen for checking to see if you got a good image. Now, what does one do with one dear old hermit cousin that won't even let a delightful niece in the door? Currently, one of our distant branches has this situation where they all know the trunks of family mementos exist because they used to visit his late mother who would review them with the kids. Their only solution seems to be to wait. But what family joy the fellow is missing out on. Any and all tried-and-true suggestions are needed. Thanks to all who make this Mayo List always one of the most helpful out there. Maureen MM

If Michael was originally from Kilfian, perhaps he was a brother or cousin of Jane as well as a cousin or close friend of John McDonnell, came home for their weddings as well as his own. Looks from Griffith's that Munnelly is a Kilfian name too, so Bridget probably came from there as well. Diane -----Original Message----- From: john.loughney <john.loughney@gmail.com> To: irl-mayo <irl-mayo@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thu, Jan 17, 2013 9:18 pm Subject: [IRL-MAYO] Why would someone from Castlebar get married in Kilfian? I just came across something a bit confusing, and I hope someone has some insight into this. My 2nd great grandparents were Bartholomew Loughney & Jane Duffy. I found the church record for their marriage in Kilfian Parish, on 7 Feb 1836. Jane is listed as from Kincon, which is in Kilfian. Right before their marriage in the church register, 836 John McDonnell and Eleanor Langan from Kincon married with Michael Duffy and Jane Duffy as witnesses. I suspect that Michael and Jane were related. I also found that on Feb 14, 1833, Michael Duffy and Bridget Munnelly, from Breaffy (BREAGHWY); witnesses, Michael Duffy and Mary Early. I assume Michael Duffy (the witness) was the father of Michael. Now, Breaffy (or Breaghwy) is down by Castlebar, which is a good distance. I also found that there was a Michael Duffy on Griffiths, living in Barney townland near Breaffy, so I assume this is the same Michael. Now, why would someone travel all that way to be married? Perhaps he was originally from there? I am slightly confused by this. John ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Mike       We have done something similar for relations who live in the area.  Have arranged a Sunday afternoon gathering with refreshments.  Ask guests to bring data and photos.  If my family my husband makes copies whilst I visit and reverse with his family.  We use Sunday afternoon because some relatives are elderly and need a ride or some no longer drive after dard.   Mary Ellen Chambers >________________________________ >  

My grandmother emigrated from Mayo in the mid 1880s as a teenager with her mother and brother. She would not talk to us about her life in Ireland - she was embarrassed to talk about their poverty, hunger, eviction after her father died. She was so happy to be in America and have a happy life. None of the suggestions mentioned would have been effective in having her tell us about her life in Mayo. Jim On 1/17/2013 3:25 PM, M J Morrow wrote: > Someone just hit a sore spot with the comment "I don't understand this. I have a friend whose uncle is in his 90's and he won't tell her why the family name was changed." > > Causes may include: > 1. The elderly relative just doesn't remember, so does this as a cover-up least they be thought senile. > 2. Us older people often feel marginalized, so this withholding information is a method of maintaining self-importance and control. > 3. All the ensuing coaxing is giving desired attention. > 4. What ever you are after may have been considered shameful in the past to that person and their family. Acknowledge this. > 5. The person might just not like you. This is often a general mistrust of in-laws issue where we are seen as outsiders ... some of us after 50 yrs. > > Possible solutions that may or may not work but are worth a try: > a. Of course, work out all routine genealogical source channels for clues and documents. > b. Expand the question or topic to all branches of the family; distant descendants may know the details because it was not shame on them. > c. Engage relaxed conversation that does not focus on what you seek, but rather talks around the edges; unguarded, it may just spill out! > d. Cheerfully share your 'terrific new findings' with The Stubborn One that include answers to what you were seeking. You will have to make stuff up here, but hope that The One will want to point out your errors. It is human nature to want to show-off a bit by correcting people. There are researchers who put out all draft reports with a carefully placed error or two just to insure responses and open new dialogue. > e. Be sure to nicely let The Reluctant One think you have other helpful relatives, so that they feel they do not want to be left out now. > f. If The One has always shown distain for you or what you are doing, get someone they do like to approach them on the topic. > g. If you are perceived as the outsider in-law, get someone more directly related to discuss the topic. > h. Never ask your question directly as that sends the barrier up immediately. > i. When all else fails, slip something in the tea. > > Been there ... done that, > Maureen > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message >

I just came across something a bit confusing, and I hope someone has some insight into this. My 2nd great grandparents were Bartholomew Loughney & Jane Duffy. I found the church record for their marriage in Kilfian Parish, on 7 Feb 1836. Jane is listed as from Kincon, which is in Kilfian. Right before their marriage in the church register, 836 John McDonnell and Eleanor Langan from Kincon married with Michael Duffy and Jane Duffy as witnesses. I suspect that Michael and Jane were related. I also found that on Feb 14, 1833, Michael Duffy and Bridget Munnelly, from Breaffy (BREAGHWY); witnesses, Michael Duffy and Mary Early. I assume Michael Duffy (the witness) was the father of Michael. Now, Breaffy (or Breaghwy) is down by Castlebar, which is a good distance. I also found that there was a Michael Duffy on Griffiths, living in Barney townland near Breaffy, so I assume this is the same Michael. Now, why would someone travel all that way to be married? Perhaps he was originally from there? I am slightly confused by this. John

Hi, I've encountered the same problem in the past with people unwilling to share photos. I may be wrong, but I believe the issue comes from taking the pictures out of the possessor's sight. If one were able to make copies in the presence of the photos' "owner," perhaps one could alleviate any trepidation and in the process establish goodwill by showing that there are no ulterior motives. Mike -----Original Message----- From: john.loughney@gmail.com Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2013 3:05 PM To: irl-mayo@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives Diane, Here are my suggestions, in no particular order. 1) Bribe them 2) Share pictures that you have 3) Take a Photoshop class on how to restore pictures, and tell them they you will help make their pictures better 4) Ask them to take the pictures to Kinkos or local photo shop and make copies 5) Show up at their house with a bottle of wine, a computer and scanner (maybe a box of chocolates as well). 6) Use guilt I've done everything but #5, but I am soon going to be at that point! John On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 12:31 PM, <dlculhane@cs.com> wrote: > Wonderful suggestions, Maureen! Now how do I get copies of family photos > from people who won't share them? > > > Diane > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: M J Morrow <MauMelMor@msn.com> > To: Ireland MAYO <IRL-MAYO@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Thu, Jan 17, 2013 2:26 pm > Subject: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives > > > Someone just hit a sore spot with the comment "I don't understand this. I > have a > friend whose uncle is in his 90's and he won't tell her why the family > name was > changed." > > Causes may include: > 1. The elderly relative just doesn't remember, so does this as a cover-up > least > they be thought senile. > 2. Us older people often feel marginalized, so this withholding > information is a > method of maintaining self-importance and control. > 3. All the ensuing coaxing is giving desired attention. > 4. What ever you are after may have been considered shameful in the past > to that > person and their family. Acknowledge this. > 5. The person might just not like you. This is often a general mistrust of > in-laws issue where we are seen as outsiders ... some of us after 50 yrs. > > Possible solutions that may or may not work but are worth a try: > a. Of course, work out all routine genealogical source channels for clues > and > documents. > b. Expand the question or topic to all branches of the family; distant > descendants may know the details because it was not shame on them. > c. Engage relaxed conversation that does not focus on what you seek, but > rather > talks around the edges; unguarded, it may just spill out! > d. Cheerfully share your 'terrific new findings' with The Stubborn One > that > include answers to what you were seeking. You will have to make stuff up > here, > but hope that The One will want to point out your errors. It is human > nature to > want to show-off a bit by correcting people. There are researchers who put > out > all draft reports with a carefully placed error or two just to insure > responses > and open new dialogue. > e. Be sure to nicely let The Reluctant One think you have other helpful > relatives, so that they feel they do not want to be left out now. > f. If The One has always shown distain for you or what you are doing, get > someone they do like to approach them on the topic. > g. If you are perceived as the outsider in-law, get someone more directly > related to discuss the topic. > h. Never ask your question directly as that sends the barrier up > immediately. > i. When all else fails, slip something in the tea. > > Been there ... done that, > Maureen > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com > with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body > of > the message > > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message > ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

Wonderful suggestions, Maureen! Now how do I get copies of family photos from people who won't share them? Diane -----Original Message----- From: M J Morrow <MauMelMor@msn.com> To: Ireland MAYO <IRL-MAYO@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thu, Jan 17, 2013 2:26 pm Subject: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives Someone just hit a sore spot with the comment "I don't understand this. I have a friend whose uncle is in his 90's and he won't tell her why the family name was changed." Causes may include: 1. The elderly relative just doesn't remember, so does this as a cover-up least they be thought senile. 2. Us older people often feel marginalized, so this withholding information is a method of maintaining self-importance and control. 3. All the ensuing coaxing is giving desired attention. 4. What ever you are after may have been considered shameful in the past to that person and their family. Acknowledge this. 5. The person might just not like you. This is often a general mistrust of in-laws issue where we are seen as outsiders ... some of us after 50 yrs. Possible solutions that may or may not work but are worth a try: a. Of course, work out all routine genealogical source channels for clues and documents. b. Expand the question or topic to all branches of the family; distant descendants may know the details because it was not shame on them. c. Engage relaxed conversation that does not focus on what you seek, but rather talks around the edges; unguarded, it may just spill out! d. Cheerfully share your 'terrific new findings' with The Stubborn One that include answers to what you were seeking. You will have to make stuff up here, but hope that The One will want to point out your errors. It is human nature to want to show-off a bit by correcting people. There are researchers who put out all draft reports with a carefully placed error or two just to insure responses and open new dialogue. e. Be sure to nicely let The Reluctant One think you have other helpful relatives, so that they feel they do not want to be left out now. f. If The One has always shown distain for you or what you are doing, get someone they do like to approach them on the topic. g. If you are perceived as the outsider in-law, get someone more directly related to discuss the topic. h. Never ask your question directly as that sends the barrier up immediately. i. When all else fails, slip something in the tea. Been there ... done that, Maureen ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 3:00 PM, April <abellraven@telus.net> wrote: > down over the old photo. You set the photo within the grid where it will > In a pinch, a smartphone or a digital camera is better than nothing. You can always get an inexpesive tripod and use it to photograph the picture "standing" up against a wall, for example. Photoshop Express is also a good investment (not too expensive) for cleaning-up photos. Adobe has a free 30 day trial of Photoshop too. John

This is a Message Board Post that is gatewayed to this mailing list. Author: DianeCulhane46 Surnames: Classification: queries Message Board URL: http://boards.rootsweb.com/localities.britisles.ireland.may.general/8679.1.1/mb.ashx Message Board Post: The 1901 census shows 3 Anne Tarpeys under the age of 9 in Kilbeagh district. (Remember people often shed a few years when they emigrated.) I'd suggest you check the Charlestown/Kilbeagh Catholic records on LDS film 1279230 or on rootsireland.ie to try to figure out which is yours. Diane Important Note: The author of this message may not be subscribed to this list. If you would like to reply to them, please click on the Message Board URL link above and respond on the board.

I've done the following. You can buy a "camera stand" but I'm not sure you can for a small digital camera that a lot of people use today. But if you have an SLR type you can buy a camera stand and attach the camera facing down over the old photo. You set the photo within the grid where it will take a photo of the photo. It works very well, often you would not know the old from the new. It can be expensive, mine was purchased about 10 years ago and I think was $65. But it was worth it as I travelled with it in my car across Canada taking photos at "cousins" homes....no one had an issue, because their old photo never left their kitchen table! April in beautiful British Columbia, Canada Researching "O'Malley and variants" ----- Original Message ----- From: "Michael Dellger" <schbibby@charter.net> To: <irl-mayo@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2013 2:31 PM Subject: Re: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives > Hi, > > I've encountered the same problem in the past with people unwilling to > share > photos. I may be wrong, but I believe the issue comes from taking the > pictures out of the possessor's sight. If one were able to make copies in > the presence of the photos' "owner," perhaps one could alleviate any > trepidation and in the process establish goodwill by showing that there > are > no ulterior motives. > > Mike > > -----Original Message----- > From: john.loughney@gmail.com > Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2013 3:05 PM > To: irl-mayo@rootsweb.com > Subject: Re: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives > > Diane, > > Here are my suggestions, in no particular order. > > 1) Bribe them > 2) Share pictures that you have > 3) Take a Photoshop class on how to restore pictures, and tell them they > you will help make their pictures better > 4) Ask them to take the pictures to Kinkos or local photo shop and make > copies > 5) Show up at their house with a bottle of wine, a computer and scanner > (maybe a box of chocolates as well). > 6) Use guilt > > I've done everything but #5, but I am soon going to be at that point! > > John > > > On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 12:31 PM, <dlculhane@cs.com> wrote: > >> Wonderful suggestions, Maureen! Now how do I get copies of family photos >> from people who won't share them? >> >> >> Diane >> >> >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: M J Morrow <MauMelMor@msn.com> >> To: Ireland MAYO <IRL-MAYO@rootsweb.com> >> Sent: Thu, Jan 17, 2013 2:26 pm >> Subject: [IRL-MAYO] Getting info from stubborn relatives >> >> >> Someone just hit a sore spot with the comment "I don't understand this. I >> have a >> friend whose uncle is in his 90's and he won't tell her why the family >> name was >> changed." >> >> Causes may include: >> 1. The elderly relative just doesn't remember, so does this as a cover-up >> least >> they be thought senile. >> 2. Us older people often feel marginalized, so this withholding >> information is a >> method of maintaining self-importance and control. >> 3. All the ensuing coaxing is giving desired attention. >> 4. What ever you are after may have been considered shameful in the past >> to that >> person and their family. Acknowledge this. >> 5. The person might just not like you. This is often a general mistrust >> of >> in-laws issue where we are seen as outsiders ... some of us after 50 yrs. >> >> Possible solutions that may or may not work but are worth a try: >> a. Of course, work out all routine genealogical source channels for clues >> and >> documents. >> b. Expand the question or topic to all branches of the family; distant >> descendants may know the details because it was not shame on them. >> c. Engage relaxed conversation that does not focus on what you seek, but >> rather >> talks around the edges; unguarded, it may just spill out! >> d. Cheerfully share your 'terrific new findings' with The Stubborn One >> that >> include answers to what you were seeking. You will have to make stuff up >> here, >> but hope that The One will want to point out your errors. It is human >> nature to >> want to show-off a bit by correcting people. There are researchers who >> put >> out >> all draft reports with a carefully placed error or two just to insure >> responses >> and open new dialogue. >> e. Be sure to nicely let The Reluctant One think you have other helpful >> relatives, so that they feel they do not want to be left out now. >> f. If The One has always shown distain for you or what you are doing, get >> someone they do like to approach them on the topic. >> g. If you are perceived as the outsider in-law, get someone more directly >> related to discuss the topic. >> h. Never ask your question directly as that sends the barrier up >> immediately. >> i. When all else fails, slip something in the tea. >> >> Been there ... done that, >> Maureen >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com >> with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the >> body >> of >> the message >> >> >> >> ------------------------------- >> To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to >> IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the >> quotes in the subject and the body of the message >> > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes > in the subject and the body of the message > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-MAYO-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message