Dear List, My mother's father was married twice. My mother was at the end of the second family. Her oldest 1/2 brother was 30 years older than my mother. He had a daughter who was born within days of my mother. When they were in school together, they just said that they were cousins. I am the youngest of both sides of my family and everyone has died off. Everyone who knew anything either would not talk or was dead by the time I could ask questions. I remember starting to ask questions when I was 12 and even then it was too late. Alanna

Alanna, I found your comment about people who would not talk about family history interesting as this has also been my experience and I'm wondering if it was just an "Irish" thing, a generational problem, personalities, or what? When my oldest uncle was 87 I asked him some family history and he said at age 10 my grandmother told him not to ask any more personal questions about her family, so he could not answer anything I asked him and she was long dead. My research did find quite a few skeltons in her closet, so perhaps that was the problem. I spoke last week to an 80-something surviving family member I recently located in Quebec and he said he couldn't tell me much because his father never would talk about his family when he asked questions (there were 16 children in it and other branches have the same problem). This has pretty much been my experience with anyone who would have been born before 1920. Was everyone mad at each other as appears to be the problem in with my ancestors, or was it because families just didn't keep in touch because it was much more difficult than it is today? I'd be interested to know what other researchers have encountered. Diane ----- Original Message ----- From: "Alanna Scanlon" <alannal@prodigy.net> To: "Irl-Clare-Proj" <IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, April 21, 2007 4:02 PM Subject: [IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS] Unaligned generations question. > > Dear List, > > My mother's father was married twice. My mother was at the end of the > second family. Her oldest 1/2 brother was 30 years older than my mother. > He had a daughter who was born within days of my mother. When they were > in school together, they just said that they were cousins. > > I am the youngest of both sides of my family and everyone has died off. > Everyone who knew anything either would not talk or was dead by the time I > could ask questions. I remember starting to ask questions when I was 12 > and even then it was too late. > > Alanna

I was fortunate enough to have a second chance to ask some questions. My father died years ago at age 81. He had two younger sisters, both deceased when he died. He also had a brother who was 5 years younger. They were married and had families but were never "close". My Uncle spent his final months at age 98 of sound mind in a nursing home because of his physical condition. His wife was deceased and his only child could not find the time for many visits. I found the time and we had quite a few chats and many stories were told. I asked about his father and why not much was said of the "old country", Germany. The reply was, "He just didn't want to talk about the bad times". Those leaving home as well as those staying behind knew full well that they would never see each other again. Unable to read or write, there was little or no communication after immigration. My father's generation grew up seeing competition among the immigrants to "get ahead". The same competition grew within the family. One story my father told was that as a 10 year old he and his mother would rise at 4 AM and drive a team with wagon full of produce to sell at market. I asked my Uncle about this and he said, "I did, too." At 97 he still had to compete. By then my father was 15 and had to stay home to do the farm work and the "easy" job of going to market was passed on down to the younger children. The good times were Sunday dinners with many cousins who worked as day labor or maids with room and board would be home for the weekend. The victrola was taken to the barn which had a slick wood floor that was ideal for dancing. Bernice Seeger Hassett ----- Original Message ----- From: "Diane Apel" <dianeapel@comcast.net> To: <irl-clare-projects@rootsweb.com> Sent: Sunday, April 22, 2007 1:59 PM Subject: Re: [IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS] Questions unanswered > Alanna, I found your comment about people who would not talk about family > history interesting as this has > also been my experience and I'm wondering if it was just an "Irish" thing, > a > generational problem, personalities, or what? > > When my oldest uncle was 87 I asked him some family history and he said at > age 10 my grandmother told him not to ask any more personal questions > about > her family, so he could not answer anything I asked him and she was long > dead. My research did find quite a few skeltons in her closet, so perhaps > that was the problem. > > I spoke last week to an 80-something surviving family member I recently > located in Quebec and he said he couldn't tell me much because his father > never would talk about his family when he asked questions (there were 16 > children in it and other branches have the same problem). > > This has pretty much been my experience with anyone who would have been > born > before 1920. Was everyone mad at each other as appears to be the problem > in > with my ancestors, or was it because families just didn't keep in touch > because it was much more difficult than it is today? I'd be interested to > know what other researchers have encountered. > > Diane > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Alanna Scanlon" <alannal@prodigy.net> > To: "Irl-Clare-Proj" <IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Saturday, April 21, 2007 4:02 PM > Subject: [IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS] Unaligned generations question. > > >> >> Dear List, >> >> My mother's father was married twice. My mother was at the end of the >> second family. Her oldest 1/2 brother was 30 years older than my mother. >> He had a daughter who was born within days of my mother. When they were >> in school together, they just said that they were cousins. >> >> I am the youngest of both sides of my family and everyone has died off. >> Everyone who knew anything either would not talk or was dead by the time >> I >> could ask questions. I remember starting to ask questions when I was 12 >> and even then it was too late. >> >> Alanna > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' > without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message > > > -- > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 269.5.7/771 - Release Date: 4/21/2007 > 11:56 AM > >

Hi Diane, When we used to visit my husband's aunts, I would question them about their parents who came over from Ireland (my interest in genealogy began with notes scribbled on whatever bits of paper I happened to have with me at the time). When I would ask them what they had been told about life in Ireland, reasons for leaving, trip over, etc., they would always say the same thing "they didn't want to talk about it" so maybe it is an "Irish" thing. Ruth ----- Original Message ----- From: "Diane Apel" <dianeapel@comcast.net> To: <irl-clare-projects@rootsweb.com> Sent: Sunday, April 22, 2007 1:59 PM Subject: Re: [IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS] Questions unanswered > Alanna, I found your comment about people who would not talk about family > history interesting as this has > also been my experience and I'm wondering if it was just an "Irish" thing, > a > generational problem, personalities, or what? >

O.K., Diane, you asked. My grandfather was the in the first generation of U.S.-born, of adult age when his Clare-born grandmother died (his own father was born in P.Q. as the first North American-born but with an older sister born in Ireland). This is all that was left for the generation of us doing family research in the 1990s: a fern plant bought by the Clare-born immigrant. No one knew anything nor preserved anything for us, and the fern was not talking. However, the cousins in Pennsylvania with the fern plant knew just one detail from the oral "history" left them; it was right; it led to records disclosing the actual Clare parish: our great-grandfather was born in Montreal. It was up to me to travel up there to get all the rest, when I was living in Washington State at the time, a mere 3100 miles away. I managed to find all relevant records on the microfilm and index cards, just before the facility staff told me that my (well-behaved) children could no longer wait in the hall for me. This is an tale of almost-misses which nonetheless turned out well, but with very little oral history to help. BTW the Penn. cousins knew nothing of our gggmother's younger Clare-born sister who lived with her in a Philadelphia old-age home. I am still searching for their younger brother, who could have either died after the Dec 1849 eviction from their Clare home or emigrated to Canada, U.S., or Australia. I am fairly sure he did not stay in Clare (unless he was adopted). No one in the U.S. said anything about him or the eviction, which seem like major events that would be passed along. Sharon Carberry USA, with a new email address On 4/22/07, Diane Apel <dianeapel@comcast.net> wrote: > > Alanna, I found your comment about people who would not talk about family > history interesting as this has > also been my experience and I'm wondering if it was just an "Irish" thing, > a > generational problem, personalities, or what? > > When my oldest uncle was 87 I asked him some family history and he said at > age 10 my grandmother told him not to ask any more personal questions > about > her family, so he could not answer anything I asked him and she was long > dead. My research did find quite a few skeltons in her closet, so perhaps > that was the problem. > > I spoke last week to an 80-something surviving family member I recently > located in Quebec and he said he couldn't tell me much because his father > never would talk about his family when he asked questions (there were 16 > children in it and other branches have the same problem). > > This has pretty much been my experience with anyone who would have been > born > before 1920. Was everyone mad at each other as appears to be the problem > in > with my ancestors, or was it because families just didn't keep in touch > because it was much more difficult than it is today? I'd be interested to > know what other researchers have encountered. > > Diane > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Alanna Scanlon" <alannal@prodigy.net> > To: "Irl-Clare-Proj" <IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Saturday, April 21, 2007 4:02 PM > Subject: [IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS] Unaligned generations question. > > > > > > Dear List, > > > > My mother's father was married twice. My mother was at the end of the > > second family. Her oldest 1/2 brother was 30 years older than my > mother. > > He had a daughter who was born within days of my mother. When they were > > in school together, they just said that they were cousins. > > > > I am the youngest of both sides of my family and everyone has died off. > > Everyone who knew anything either would not talk or was dead by the time > I > > could ask questions. I remember starting to ask questions when I was 12 > > and even then it was too late. > > > > Alanna > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > IRL-CLARE-PROJECTS-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' > without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message >