from "THE MIDNIGHT COURT" by Brian Merriman, (circa 1780), trans. Frank O'Connor (1945). Not to detain you here all day I married the girl without more delay, And took my share in the fun that followed. There was plenty for all and nothing borrowed. Be fair to me now! There was no one slighted; The beggarmen took the road delighted; The clerk and mummers were elated; The priest went home with his pocket weighted. The lamps were lit, the guests arrived; The supper was ready, the drink was plied; The fiddles were flayed, and, the night advancing, The neighbours joined in the sport and dancing. A pity to God I didn't smother When first I took the milk from my mother, Or any day I ever broke bread Before I brought that woman to bed! For though everyone talked of her carouses As a scratching post of the publichouses That as sure as ever the glasses would jingle Flattened herself to married and single, Admitting no modesty to mention, I never believed but 'twas all invention. They added, in view of the life she led, I might take to the roads and beg my bread, But I took it for talk and hardly minded -- Sure, a man like me could never be blinded! -- And I smiled and nodded and off I tripped Till my wedding night when I saw her stripped, And knew too late that this was no libel Spread in the pub by some jealous rival -- By God, "twas a fact, and well-supported: I was a father before I started! So there I was in the cold daylight, A family man after one short night! The women around me, scolding, preaching, The wife in bed and the baby screeching. I stirred the milk as the kettle boiled Making a bottle to give the child; All the old hags at the hob were cooing As if they believed it was all my doing -- Flattery worse than ever you heard: "Glory and praise to our blessed Lord, Though he came in a hurry, the poor little creature, He's the spit of his da in every feature."