DUMB, DUMB, DUMB There was a jolly blade that married a country maid, And soon he conducted her home, home, home; In ev'ry household art she was comfort to his heart; But alas, and alas, she was dumb, dumb, dumb. She could brew and she could bake, she could wring, wash, and shake, And keep the house clean with her broom, broom, broom; She could knit, card, and spin, and do ev'ry thing; But what good was all that - she was dumb, dumb, dumb. To the doctor then he went with mournful discontent, Saying, "Doctor, dear doctor, I'm come, come, come; I'll pay you fifty pounds - and that in pure gold -- If you make my wife speak that is dumb, dumb, dumb." To the doctor then she went and he cut some little strings, And gave her tongue liberty to run, run, run -- O, 'Twas like a silly brute then her husband she abused, Saying, "You dog, I'll let you know I'm not dumb, dumb, dumb." To the doctor then he went with mournful discontent, Saying, "Doctor, dear doctor, I'm come, come come; My wife is turned scold and with her I cannot hold: I'd give anything at all to have her dumb, dumb, dumb!" "I could freely undertake for to make your wife speak, Though that was not easily done, done, done -- It's not in the power of man, let him do whate'er he can, To make a scolding wife hold her tongue, tongue, tongue." -- Anonymous