WHAT WE LOST It is a winter afternoon. The hills are frozen. Light is failing. The distance is a crystal earshot. A women is mending linen in her kitchen. She is a countrywoman. Behind her cupboard doors she hangs sprigged, stove-dried lavender in muslin. Her letters and mementos and memories are packeted in satin at the back with gaberdine and worsted and the cambric she has made into bodices; the good tobacco silk for Sunday Mass. She is sewing in the kitchen. The sugar-feel of flax is in her hands. Dusk. And the candles brought in then. One by one. And the quiet sweat of wax. There is a child by her side. The tea is poured, the stitching put down. The child grows still, sensing something of importance. The woman settles and begins her story. Believe it, what we lost is here in this room on this veiled evening. The woman finishes. The story ends. The child, who is my mother, gets up, moves away. In the winter air, unheard, unshared, the moment happens, hangs fire, leads nowhere. The light will fail and the room darken, the child fall asleep and the story be forgotten. The fields are dark already. The frail connections have been made and are broken. The dumb-show of legend has become language, is becoming silence and who will know that once words were possibilities and disappointments, were scented closets filled with love letters and memories and lavender hemmed into muslin, stored in sachets, aired in bed linen; and traveled silks and the tones of cotton tautened into bodices, subtly shaped by breathing; were the rooms of childhood with their griefless peace, their hands and whispers, their candles weeping brightly? -- Ms. Eavan BOLAND