Liz I would say apply Occam's razor and do not rule out Henry Augustus Tilbury. You claim with certainty that your grandmother's father was Harry Tilbury, based on her marriage record, but I dispute that. Find My Past has a very clear scan of the register and there is no doubt in my mind that it says Henry Tilbury.    Let's dig a little deeper. First of all note that Herbert Ballantyne was a driver for the N.W. Ry. (marriage register). Henry Augustus Tilbury did have a military connection, nothing special - he was a private in the Manchester Regiment for 8 years having enlisted at Agra when he was 18. After finishing his term he married Ethel Jane Pearce in 1899. Tilbury was now a guard on the E.I.  Ry. whilst his wife's father was a guard on the SP&D (Sind,Punjab and Delhi) railway. Then in 1913 Ethel Jane Tilbury, widow, married Lionel Albert Carton, station master at Aish Bagh (Lucknow). There's a lot of railway folk here. All people with similar background, status, liable to mix, maybe at big railway junctions like Lucknow or maybe moving jobs between companies. However, nothing to suggest a small child being put in a convent.  It is most unfortunate that you cannot find a baptism. But, and a big but, it is very interesting to find Henry Augustus Tilbury actually died in 1936 in Bhamo (Burma I think), occupation trader, age 65. So we're left with another mystery. Did his wife run off with another man in 1913 or did he abscond? Perhaps they just separated. Related or not, there were certainly rum goings on in the Tilbury family, just the sort of things that would have been spoken of in hushed voices, if mentioned at all in polite company. If the wife did run off and leave a child behind, what could a railway guard do with a five year old but try and place her in a convent or similar A passing thought, I do have an illegitimate child in my family tree who was baptised with her mother's surname in Cawnpore (I think) yet later used her father's surname when travelling to Europe with him and on her return to India when she married. Perhaps you should check every Mary Margaret born in 1908! Finally I see a probate record in London for Ethel Jane Pearce of Ootacamund, South India, in 1959. Perhaps she reverted to her maiden name? The executor was Evelyn Thomas, widow. Does that name mean anything? I hope some of this is useful to you. It's been an interesting diversion. If you ever find the truth please post on here! Simon. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Sutty" india@rootsweb.com To: Cc:"TilburyCM" , "Sutty" , "Brenda Ballantyne" , "Yvette Wall" Sent:Sat, 29 Aug 2015 19:27:06 +1000 Subject:[INDIA] HARRY TILBURY IN BRITISH INDIA, MY GREAT GRANDFATHER, BUT WHICH HARRY TILBURY?? I am trying to find out about my great grandparents on my father, s mothers side. My grandmother, MARY MARGARET TILBURY , was born in India in 1908, and was raised in a convent until her marriage in Sept 1927 in Lahore , to my grandfather , HERBERT JAMES BALLANTYNE . The family have always wondered about her family of origin, and she spent her life often sad as she never met them. Members of my family have various stories, speculations and accounts , all similar, unproven, and yet conflicting. An uncle recalls a secretive culture concerning such matters and recalls overhearing the name WILLIAM HARRY TILBURY , and my recent research has discovered a MILITARY OFFICER with the same name who served in India around a credible time for him to possibly be her father. There are few other candidates, initially I thought a HENRY AUGUSTUS TILBURY, also a Military man, whose family have extensive history in INDIA , with accounts of events that seemed credible too. We do know for certain her father,s name was A " HARRY TILBURY" HE IS ACKNOWLEWDGED ON HER MARRIAGE RECORD. There is no mention of her mother, and no one seems to of been able to find a record of my grandmothers birth . I recently managed to find an elderly gentleman who knew my grandmother, I was trying to find out what the connection to the CLAYTON FAMILY that several of my uncles mentioned. The marriage record also mentioned a witness, an EK CLAYTON , and this turned out to be the gentleman whom I founds father! He was able to tell me how he knew her, his mother worked as a volunteer at the CONVENT OF JESUS AND MARY IN LAHORE , and when my grandmother was due to leave the convent as a young lady , Mrs Clayton was asked, as was the custom, if she knew anyone wanting a wife! Her husband , Edward Kenneth , knew the Ballantyne family well, he had gone to school with my grandfather, s brothers at the Bishop cotton School in LAHORE , and they were aware young Herbert was indeed seeking a wife! Consequently, my grandmother came to live in their home as a member of their family for some time whilst a match was made . Mrs Clayton took her under her wing. It was the only family she knew prior to marrying and starting her own, and we believe that when late in life she asked my youngest uncle to find her half brothers she meant the Clayton boys she had spent time with. My priority and focus in my research for some time , has been to correctly identify who her father was , as I said , there are a few , but not many possible candidates, and I had earlier focused my attention on one HENRY AUGUSTUS TILBURY , As details seemed to add up, however, contact with a descendant has meant that this now seems unlikely, but can't be completely ruled out at this stage we would like to learn as much as we can about her family and the circumstances of her relinquishment . we suspect her mother died, and her father being a Military officer (I am told that that would of been the only way the nuns took her, I her upbringing was paid for, as my elderly gentleman contact, son of the Claytons tells me that only kids of Military families went to the convent, as the nuns were quiet poor). I have written to the convent now that we know which one (only recently after finding Mr Clayton ) in the hope some records have survived, a long shot, but worth a try! We may get some clues, but I expect it is unlikely we will ever learn the name of her mother. I think it likely she was at least Anglo indian or had mainly indian heritage, and I also think it likely that Harry Tilbury would have had a wife, perhaps back in England? Whilst he was serving in India. Several lines of enquiry are being pursued ! I have recently received my results of Ancestry.com.au DNA TESTING which confirms Indian heritage. I am hoping this may also help us find out ' WHICH Harry Tilbury was my GG grandfather !! Can anyone assist further ? WE ARE CLOSER THAN EVER BEFORE ! it would mean a lot if we could accurately settle this mystery of our heritage! I also feel we owe it to my grandmother, she was often deeply distressed about not knowing her family. Kind regards, liz ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to INDIA-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message