Hi everybody, thought this might be an apt editorial for everyone. Also a good mailing list. it's short and concise. Kathy Z. ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: 16 April, 1999 5:52 AM Subject: FHN: 16 April 1999 EVERTON'S FAMILY HISTORY NEWSLINE For a limited time, until 5:00 P.M. MDT Monday, 19 April 1999, you can subscribe to Everton's Genealogical Helper, the world's largest genealogy magazine, for only US$39.00 -- $9.00 less than the regular subscription price! (Subscriptions to addresses outside of the United States will be offered for just US$48.00 during this period -- over $4.00 off the regular price.) To take advantage of this offer, call our toll-free number: 1-800-443-6325, or use our secure web server at https://www.everton.com/partners/fhn/ 16 April 1999 Frank Beacon: Don't Go There! You're deep in an animated discussion with one of your friends about just who is the greatest player in the history of Brazilian soccer. Is it Ronaldo, or Pele, or even that rocket Rivelino? He suggests the only way to tell would be to transport each of them via time machine so they could test their skills against each other in their prime. You suggest they be transported somewhere so they could test their skills one-on-one. You're about to suggest how the match be scored when your friend, knowing your thoughts even before they're spoken, warns you off by raising his eyebrows, pointing his finger, and saying, "Don't go there!" "There" is an indeterminate place geographically, and somewhat variable in its exact composition. But its nature is very definite indeed. "There" is where you find yourself when you have stepped over that invisible boundary between polite actions and those of poor taste. It is the Land of Bad Behavior, and although it is just a step away, the trip back can be arduous indeed. That's why our friends warn us not to "go there". They don't want us to embarass ourselves. They don't want to lose our company while we sojourn in the Valley of Bad Karma. If we're smart we heed their warning. If we're "on a roll", we do not. And then we find ourselves trying to dig out of the hole into which we've fallen. I certainly enjoy no immunity from this particular fault. In fact, I've worn out several pairs of shoes just shoving them in and out of my mouth (feet included). It's a constant struggle. So I'd like to share a few tips on how you might avoid "going there" in your genealogical research: Assume that those who receive your email query have not been placed on this earth just to cater to your desires. Instead, assume that each of them already has a full schedule, but might be able to help you out with a small request. A small, explicit request. One that you can easily define, and can ask for in your most polite fashion. And do assume that they will appreciate your sincere thanks for whatever they can do. Do assume that county clerks and other public officials have been hired to help other public officials, and that filling requests for certificates or copies of deeds and wills is only a small part of their assigneed duties. This isn't always the case, but it's true more often than you might like to think. Even if they are required to fulfill your request by law, try to make it a pleasant experience for them as well as yourself. Be courteous, and always follow their instructions to the letter. Remember, they don't know your family history, and they can only do what you ask them to do. Don't assume that email is synchronous. It isn't a telephone, it's mail. You send a message and it's up to the recipient to retrieve it, read it, ponder a response, and send a reply. While it is true that the Internet is "open for business" 24 hours a day, no one is wired into the Net every second. And not everyone immediately responds to every message in the moment it is read. It takes time and effort to formulate a good reply, and even longer to formulate a really good reply. If you send an email message, whether it's to one person or to an entire mailing list, allow the recipient(s) a day or two or three to comprehend your message and send a responsible reply. Do not assume that you know the answer to queries posted on mailing lists "off the top of your head". Instead, take the time to check your facts. Then write it down. Then read it and see if you're making a fool of yourself. And if you are sure you aren't, then send it to the list or to the individual who posted the query. Speaking of writing it down, do not assume that you will remember any piece of vital information on your own. Always write it down. And not just the data, but where you found the data and when you read, heard or saw it. Then place that information in a well-conceived filing system so you can find it when you need it. These suggestions only scratch the surface. There are so many ways to embarass yourself and others that they literally cannot be counted. But the basic rules of good behavior are fairly simple. Respect others. Get your own act together. Be patient. Plan for the future. And try to keep your feet out of your mouth. Frank Beacon [email protected] Resources: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization http://www.acommonreader.com/8/8463.html Netiquette: The Do's and Don'ts of Online Communication http://www.albion.com/netiquette/ Cyndi's List of Genealogical Mailing Lists and Newsgroups http://www.cyndislist.com/mailnews.htm And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, ... ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not. Mosiah 4:29-30 Copyright 1999, Everton Publishers All rights reserved -------------------------------------------------------------------- FAMILY HISTORY NEWSLINE is a free daily genealogy news service provided by Everton Publishers P.O. Box 368 Logan, UT 84323 Toll-free: 1-800-443-6325 http://www.everton.com subscribe: <[email protected]> message: subscribe history unsubscribe: <[email protected]> message: unsubscribe history Recent articles are available online at http://www.everton.com/FHN/