For your laugh of the day!! > Grandma's Disease > Author unknown > > There's been a change in Grandma, we've noticed her of late. > She's always reading history or jotting down some date. > She's tracking back the family, we'll all have pedigrees. > Oh, Grandma's got a hobby - she's climbing the FAMILY TREE. > > Poor Grandpa does the cooking, and now, or so he states, > That worst of all, he has to wash the cups and dinner plates. > Grandma can't be bothered, she's busy as a bee, > Compiling genealogy for the FAMILY TREE. > > She has no time to babysit, the curtains are a fright, > No buttons left on Grandpa's shirt, the flower bed's a sight. > She's given up her club work and the soaps on TV, > The only thing she does nowadays is climb the FAMILY TREE. > > She goes down to the courthouse and studies ancient lore, > We know more about our forebears than we ever knew before. > The books are old and dusty, they make poor Grandma sneeze, > A minor irritation when you're climbing the FAMILY TREE. > > The mail is all for Grandma, it comes from near and far, > Last week she got the proof she needs to join the DAR. > A monumental project all do agree, > All from climbing the FAMILY TREE. > > Now some folks came from Scotland, some from Galway Bay, > Some were French as pastry, some German all the way. > Some went West to stake their claims, some stayed there by the sea. > Grandma hopes to find them all, as she climbs the FAMILY TREE. > > She wanders through the graveyard in search of date and name, > The rich, the poor, the in-between, all sleeping there the same. > She pauses now and then to rest, fanned by a gentle breeze, > That blows above the Fathers of all our FAMILY TREES. > > There are pioneers and patriots, mixed in our kith and kin, > Who blazed the paths of wildness and fought through thick and thin. > But none more staunch than Grandma, who eyes light up with glee, > Each time she finds a missing branch for the FAMILY TREE. > > Their skills were wide and varied, from carpenter to cook, > And one, alas, the records show, was hopelessly a crook. > Blacksmith, weaver, farmer, judge - some tutored for a fee. > Once lost in time, now all recorded on the FAMILY TREE. > > To some it's just a hobby, to Grandma it's much more, > She learns the joys and heartaches of those that went before. > They loved, they lost, they laughed, they wept - and now, for you and > me, > They live again in spirit around the FAMILY TREE. > > At last she's nearly finished and we are each exposed, > Life will be the same again, this we all supposed. > Grandma will cook and sew, serve cookies with our tea. > We'll all be fat, just as before the wretched FAMILY TREE. > > Sad to relate, the preacher called and visited for a spell. > We talked about the Gospel, and other things as well. > The heathen folk, the poor and then - 'twas fate, it had to be, > Somehow the conversation turned to Grandma and the FAMILY TREE. > > He never knew his Grandpa, his mother's name was...Clark? > He and Grandma talked and talked, outside it grew quite dark. > We'd hoped our fears were groundless, but just like some disease, > Gramdma's become an addict - she's hooked on FAMILY TREES! > > Our souls are filled with sorrow, our hearts sad with dismay. > Our ears could scarce believe the words we heard our Grandma say, > "It sure is a lucky thing that you have come to me, > I know exactly how it's done. I'll climb your FAMILY TREE." > >