Helena Arkansas February the 25th 1865 My Dear Elizabeth yours of the 14th inst caim to hand last night and after a long night of bad dreams I shal endevor to write to you after reading your letter I was trubeld I must confess that I have never been so trubled since I have been in the service I was ciphering when the mail caim & if some of my folks had been dead I do not beleave I would have felt worse I after reading tride to work a some but could not do anything couldent hardly tel how much 7 times 8 was I went to role call & then to bed but could not sleep til late in the night then such dreams of my family sufering for the nesarys of life I got up this morning my brest hurt me & I feel quite unwell My folks had allways don tolerable well and I felt all rite but what to promis my self in the future I can not tel I have calmly considered the contents of the letter and it may be that I am drinking truble before it comes but be that as it may you must join in with me to look in to the future a litle and help me to remedy the Eavels that seam to only want a litle time to develop them selves in full forse. Please bare with me while I look for a moment the 15th day of December I sent 40 dollars home I had it in my head that we did not owe any person but mabe we did be that tho as it may by the 15th day of (Feb) it was all gon ($20) dollars a month (now you must understand) I do not say that the money was not used to a good advantage but how are we to live at such an expense is the question we must not give up to dispare but try if posable to stop some of such tyranical expenses I am only geting 16 dollars a month & dont get that reglar you see it has been 8 months since I have been paid off & it being so long between payments I thought of geting some money to send home as some of the boys was wanting to lend money to me as they new I was good (so I did send 40 dollars) our expence being 4 dollars more than our income at that rate we will spend near 50 dollars a year & in 8 years spend enough to take our litle home to pay our debts & then come to want and our children thrown out on the mercys of the world without education or frends I know that you have a larger family than usial but notwithstanding we must stop some of such expense no mater what comes or goes Martha is with you it is true she is my sister and I must try to take care of her I beleave she can pay her way yes I think she can pay her board anyhow Jimey is big enought to pay his way and his mothers two and he must stay at home and work I will write to him and his mother you need not think that she will think you have been teling me any thing about her or Jimey all I speak from is from the 20 dollars a month expenses forgive me if I am to hard. for I am going to com out plain now you may depend the taxes is to pay yet & we have not the money to pay them they should have been paid the first of this month 2 more months and our land will be sold for taxes (shaim shaim) I know that things are very hy but hy or low we must not get them atall if we hant able Clothes shoes & Calico & demestic is all very hie but 20 dollars a month is out of reason and must be stopt that 40 is spent befour I draw it and has yet to be paid over if my family has to live hard and not have much to eat or much to ware it must be boarn or indured for I am in the army not to make money & set big dinars & feed the poure but to fight for my Country & put down this unGodly Rebelion so that we may live in peace in days to come. & all I get for my services the pitiful sum of 16 dollars a month & we must do on that at all haserds if it only gets dry bread & water you spoke of haveing a cooking stove and wanted to know is I would let you have the money as you would pay it back in next year) Well judging from former expenses I must confess that I have not got the money to lend as it will require all & more two to get Bread for my family to eat I would love for you to have the stove - but I have not got got the money to lend for that purpose nor I do not think that I will have you have charge of the family & all depends on you for managing the mater dont go over to complaining but go to work & make every thing around you work & all of you do your duty live peaceable & all will go well Lizzie read this to all the family dont keep it a secret you must maneg Martha must help you Jimey must work & George must two do what he can (nary stove this year) never mind that land mater but stay at home I as ever yours truly M. A. Hooker Patrick J. Anderson http://worldconnect.genealogy.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/igm.cgi?db=patanderson 9654 Baltimore Avenue, Laurel, Maryland 20723