Thank you for sharing Denise, But I have to say..... What you were going through "wasn't that bad"?? (6th sentence) Yes it was! You were relegated to hell, assumed your position there, and were forced to fight your way back after it was taken from your hands, when you couldn't do ANYTHING ELSE. All because, initially, you didn't want to be seen as a weenie. You listened to the, "it all takes time, grin and bear it, who's the doctor?", rhetoric because THEY wouldn't, knowingly, do something hazardous to your health. No, they wouldn't, but in fact...THEY do. "They" do because they're human and "they" do because to entirely too many in the medical field, YOU'RE a page from their medical training---a number---and you'll "fit" in the group of people that would likely survive with or without them. Or not. However, when THEY have, "made mistakes", possibly life threatening ones, aren't acknowledging those mistakes, SOMEONE'S feet need to be held to the fire in righting a wrong. It shouldn't have been yours. I hope that the ONE TRUE THING that comes from your life (or near death) experience, as you've shared it here, is that ALL who read it will determine that WHEN their body is sending messages that are contrary to what the medical profession is professing, they'll listen to their body. TRUST IT. I'm not going to share the myriad "just such cases" that have touched my life in recent years, (life threatening and/or crippling), but AM GOING TO SAY that when things don't seem quite right, GO WITH YOUR GUT. If that cast doesn't fit, make them re-do it. (Cysts SHOULDN'T be a side affect) If that pain is persisitent, insist on the next inline test, not a pill. (H-Pylori is a culprit in cancer, how much do you know about it?) If you leave the hospital SICKER than when you went in, (or with NEW problems), GO BACK---demand to know what identified "demons" might be threatening you. (CELLULITIS is a word all should familiarize themselves with----"just a rash from the IV" is not a reasonable response when you've queried your doctor the pain and swelling.) No, this isn't an attack on the medical profession---it's a suggestion that EVERYONE take EVERYTHING into consideration as it's help becomes necessary. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. If things aren't "feeling right", then there's probably something WRONG. No one should have to go through what you did---and, bottom line, to those that might find themselves "there", God helps those that help themselves. Help yourself. Stepping down off the soap-box, Sherry > [Original Message] > From: <denisek711@aol.com> > To: <IADECATU-L@rootsweb.com> > Date: 6/13/2005 9:24:29 PM > Subject: [IADECATU] off subject, very long sorry, I just needed to talk and say thank you > > Hello all, > It's been a long time since I have posted to the mailing list. I have been battling some pretty messy "demons" this past year and a half. The "demons" have been physical and mental. Through all of what has happened, this mailing list has helped me get through it. The Kate Strong letters, the notes, I may not have responded, answered, or posted my thoughts but I was thankful for the list. Going through everything, getting as mom called it "out of sorts", I would read the letters, the old newspaper articles and realize what I was going through wasn't that bad. People before me had gone through a lot worse and survived. I will never be my old self and I think I am finally coming to terms with it. I guess I should explain. Pardon the length but here it goes; ... -snip-