The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, First Sergeant!" "Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!" "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."