I am sending this to all my list as it is one of the best tips that I have rec'd..... Sandi is SO correct here.... Have a great day..... Jeannie <>< List Mom -----Original Message----- From: Sandi Gorin [mailto:sgorin@glasgow-ky.com] Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2000 5:02 AM To: KYRESEARCH-L@rootsweb.com Subject: TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS? TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS? I hope you will let me ramble a bit for today's tip; it is really a re-run of an earlier tip, but has been brought to mind again during this past week. As I grow older, I find myself wishing how much I had asked more questions when family members were still with us. My family is dwindling down to a precious few and along with the feeling of loss of their leaving, I think of how much I didn't know about them. Oh, I have all the dates of birth and death, where and when they were married and all the children. But what do I know about them as a person? What precious memories are gone forever? In all our efforts to get every vital statistic right so we can join the DAR, SAR, Colonial Dames - whatever, have we forgotten that we are dealing with real people? People that lived, loved, hurt, felt pride, worked hard, people who mattered whether they were descended from some famous king or queen, president or outlaw. Or have we become so determined to get every date right, and every pedigree box filled in that we've forgotten what they did, who they were and what legacy they left us? I think sometimes we need to go back to square one and start treating our ancestors with a little more respect!! Of course, we all have family that are so illusive that the only proof we have of their existence is that we are here! But, lets think back just a couple or more generations and be thankful we at least have the names on the ones for whom we can find no biographical information. My daughter was recently given a family history book created by Thomas Kincaide, the famous 'Painter of Lights" that I like so much. In looking through it, I was deeply impressed about the type of data asked for. It had the regular family history information of course, but other questions that stirred up memories in my heart were there too. What was your grandma's favorite recipe? Where did they live, in what kind of a house? What songs were popular then, who were their best friends? What hobbies did they have, where did they go to church, what was their favorite teacher's names, etc. It got me really thinking again on how much I didn't know about my own family! On living family members, of whom there are less than one hand's worth in counting, I can go back and ask. But my precious grandparents and great-grandparents - unless my mother remembers, I will never know. In 1971, I became interested in genealogy, really before I could spell the word! I made a long distance call to my aunt in Tucson who I knew was tracing her family and my uncles and asked her what to do. She gave me a 1/2 hour lesson in family tree searching that has served me down to the present time. She stressed people first, statistics later. She mailed me an audio tape that she had from my grandfather who has been dead for almost 20 years. She had asked him questions such as the above and he was older and got flustered and couldn't remember. So she left him her tape recorder. Lo and behold, he got messing with the tape and mailed it to her a couple of months later. She made me a copy and it is so cherished. He really "got into it" and not only told stories of his childhood, but sang old coal mining songs from Southern Illinois, told about the politics of the day, illnesses, triumphs, hard times on the farm - an hour of tape covering 80 years of his life. I cherish it! Then, about 10 years ago, I asked my Mom to give me her life story and she made 2 tapes for me (which need to be updated). Her hands were getting arthritic and it was hard for her to write, but she was quite at home with a tape recorder and told of her life on the farm, growing up in a tiny town in central Illinois, the hardships, the joys, my birth, the birth and death of my brother. My precious Dad left us in 1996, and he couldn't write too well, but he was a talker. I never got him to make me a tape, but with my memories and those of his only living sister, we have reconstructed most of his life of growing up prior to the Great Depression, World War II and onward. Now, I am doing the same for my two daughters. I have the "luxury" of doing it on the computer. Whenever I have a few minutes, rare it seems, I plunk out another chapter of my life. Many times years later in my life story, my memory will be jogged of something, and I will add an "interlude" - a chapter of missed memories. I have 20 chapters done now - the girls are both getting a hard copy and a computer disk. Fancy memories? Not really. I don't descend from anyone famous, a lot of our family must have hid out when something important happened. But I can tell them of growing up in a small town and knowing all of my classmates from 1st grade on, of lonliness, of friends, of events that happened during those years such as the launching of Sputnik and our fears to go out on the playground thinking a Russian satellite was photographing us. Of elections, the Korean and Viet Nam War. My times of feeling like a klutz playing girl's basketball or trying to dance, of meeting their daddy, their births. I have also kept a diary for both girls since the day they were born. Plus, I kept my own diary which meant 3 diary entries a day. When they were old enough, I gave the girls their own diaries and begged them to keep them up --which they are. They know what happened every day of their lives less maybe 5 days over the many years. And, being smaltzy, I made them great big scrapbooks - all the cards they have ever received, pieces of the wrapping paper from their gifts, birth announcements, shower presents, lists of toys they like to play with. And pictures - about 30 albums full over the years - friends, events, places. Since we've lived in 5 states, there is something there from every house we've lived in, every town. Now, it's their problem on how to find room for all their "memories", but it has worked. They actively keep records of their lives; one married now and one serious. Statistically, for some patriotic organization, this would mean nothing. But for me, for them, it IS their life! So, along with being able to quote their ancestors back many generations, they know that great-aunt Lizzie was a Bohemian and the life the party; another aunt was a great poker player; Uncle Frederick invented the space bar on the typewriter, Rev. Marcellus was thrown into the brig during the Civil War for being on the wrong side of the fence in the Civil War; their grandmother was a great horsewoman (on the farm, never professionally); their grandpa never knew his father who was killed accidentally when he was three years old; and the adventures of their mother taking flying lessons. They know when they were sick and of what, who got into a little girl's squabble with who and how they did on their report cards. It is a walk back in time with their family and they both love it. So, after many paragraphs, what I'm trying to say is ... record it! We need those dates and places, but we need to know the people who match those dates and places. We are what they were in so many ways, the same genes run in our body, their blood flows in our veins. Their illnesses might effect us later, their reactions to situations many time are shown in how we respond. When they made mistakes, we can learn from their errors and hopefully, not repeat them. When they succeeded, we can not only take pride, but strive to match their goals and exceed them. When great grandpa slaved over a horse drawn plow and at night stared at the stars; our children might be on a space ship soaring between them. Where they had discord in marriage or family, we can strive to be on the alert to see what we can do to not have the same. If you can get the family members to make a tape, write it down, or dictate it to you ... save it, cherish it for it is a shadow of you and of your descendants. (c) Copyright 21 September 2000, Sandra K. Gorin. All Rights Reserved. sgorin@glasgow-ky.com Col. Sandi Gorin, 205 Clements, Glasgow, KY 42141 (270) 651-9114 Member: Glasgow-Barren Co Chamber of Commerce Publishing: http://ggpublishing.tripod.com/ <>< TIPS: http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Tips KYBIOS: http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Bios SCKY ARCHIVES: http://searches.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/listsearch.pl Surname Registry: http://sckyregistry.homestead.com/SCKYHome.html Merged Surname Registry all counties in South Central KY: http://www.public.asu.edu/~moore/files/surnames/surnames.txt ==== KYRESEARCH Mailing List ====