Look up Perins school, Alresford on the 'Friends re-united' web-site and you will find me listed as the oldest ex-pupil, but that doesn't mean I'm too old to remember some amusing incidents. One in particular takes a bit of believing but our Head had a novel way of finding out if any boy made a rude noise in class.He would say, "Now stand up boys, and smell the seat of the boy next to you". You dreaded your neighbour shouting out, "It's him, Sir!! or you would be landed with writing out a hundred lines, "I must learn to control my bodily functions" Happy days, or were they?