selection of one-liners by Ernest Bullimore. Genealogy: Chasing your own tale! Genealogy... will I ever find time to mow the lawn again? I researched my family tree... and apparently I don't exist! My family coat of arms ties at the back... is that normal? Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall! How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE? I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap. I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged. I'm searching for myself; have you seen me? If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help... Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more! Never mind the children, do you know where your -Gr-Gr-Grandparents are tonight? Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples. FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records. Gene-Allergy: It's a contagious disease, but we love it. Genealogists are time unravelers. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide... we seek! Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people. I think my ancestors had several "Bad heir" days. Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! Many a family tree needs pruning. Shh! Be very, very quiet.... I'm hunting forebears. That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN! I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes. Genealogists live in the past lane. Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots! Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree. Always willing to share my ignorance... Documentation... The hardest part of genealogy.