-------- Original Message -------- Subject: FW: Darwin awards of 2005 Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2005 01:51:34 +0000 From: jeanvern@comcast.net To: mjyork@adelphia.net (Mary York), judytw@nctv.com (Judy Williams), lstahl@columbus.rr.com (Linda Stahl) I always look forward to these awards each year--they make me feel so s-m-a-r-t!!! > Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards > are > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. > > Here then, are the glorious Darwin Award Winners for 2005: > > > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim > during > a holdup in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did > something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and > tried > the trigger again. This time it worked. > > > > And now, the honorable mentions: > > > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting > machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his > insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of > its men > to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The > chef's claim was approved. > > > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car > during a > blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had > taken the > space. Understandably, he shot her. > > > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting > from > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, > the > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a > free > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling > the > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre > fantasies. > The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. > > > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious > head > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how > close he > could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. > > > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the > counter, > and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man > pulled > a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk > promptly > provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the > $20 > bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the > drawer...$15. > (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime > committed?) > > > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided > that he'd > just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some > booze, > and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at > the > window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the > head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. > > > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, man > grabbed her > purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was > able to > give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the > police > apprehended the snatcher. > They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then > taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To > which he > replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. > That's the lady I stole the purse from." > > > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a > Burger > King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded > cash. > The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash > register > without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said > they > weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. > > > > A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! > > > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked > on a > Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived > at > the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to > trying to > steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's > sewage tank > by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, > saying that > it was the best laugh he'd ever had. > > > > In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your > friends > and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance > is a > distant relative or long lost friend. > In that case be glad they are distant. >