If it were me or my husband, that is exactly what I would do.  But it isn't about us and I feel that it is rather rude and insensitive to tell someone to just get over it.  I do know he talked to his parents about the result.  I don't know what they said.  Since his brothers did match and he did not, this leaves some questions that he may want answered but the parents may not be willing to answer.  I think this would be a huge shock if there were no hint or "family lore" out there lurking.  Suzanne Collins Matson ________________________________ From: ROBERT NICHOLSON <robertnicholson1@cox.net> To: germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 11:46:29 AM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question You just file the information away and move on.  There is no point in getting upset about it at this late date. My own DNA testing proved "family lore" that my surname should be be something else so the results were not a shock.  It seems that one of my direct ancestors used the surname of his step-father rather than the surname of his actual father. In addition, I know of a case where a family researcher had expended a tremendous amount of time and energy in researching what she thought was her ancestral line.  When her father finally took the DNA test, it came back that they did not connect with their own surname line.  That did come as a shock to her. So the message is to just accept the results and keep on trucking. Robert Nicholson ----- Original Message ----- From: "Suzanne Matson" <holtzclaw.research@yahoo.com> Subject: [GERMANNA] DNA study question How have various family groups dealt with the following scenario which happened in my husband's family? Y-DNA studies were done to see if various lines were related. One came back as completely unrelated. The parents of the person tested are living. He had grown up in his family thinking of course that he was a biological child of both parents. Needless to say, this person is devastated and the family is in real turmoil.

Suzanne, Obviously, if the individual was adopted, his adoptive parents should have told him when he was a small child. But they apparently didn't. While a brief period of being upset is understandable, then is no point in making a family shattering issue out of it. I have never had the experience of knowing perfect parents or perfect children. It is basically a live and let live world and the ability to accept some things as you find them is generally regarded as a sign of emotional maturity. Robert Nicholson ----- Original Message ----- From: "Suzanne Matson" <holtzclaw.research@yahoo.com> To: <germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 10:32 AM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question If it were me or my husband, that is exactly what I would do. But it isn't about us and I feel that it is rather rude and insensitive to tell someone to just get over it. I do know he talked to his parents about the result. I don't know what they said. Since his brothers did match and he did not, this leaves some questions that he may want answered but the parents may not be willing to answer. I think this would be a huge shock if there were no hint or "family lore" out there lurking. Suzanne Collins Matson ________________________________ From: ROBERT NICHOLSON <robertnicholson1@cox.net> To: germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 11:46:29 AM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question You just file the information away and move on. There is no point in getting upset about it at this late date. My own DNA testing proved "family lore" that my surname should be be something else so the results were not a shock. It seems that one of my direct ancestors used the surname of his step-father rather than the surname of his actual father. In addition, I know of a case where a family researcher had expended a tremendous amount of time and energy in researching what she thought was her ancestral line. When her father finally took the DNA test, it came back that they did not connect with their own surname line. That did come as a shock to her. So the message is to just accept the results and keep on trucking. Robert Nicholson ----- Original Message ----- From: "Suzanne Matson" <holtzclaw.research@yahoo.com> Subject: [GERMANNA] DNA study question How have various family groups dealt with the following scenario which happened in my husband's family? Y-DNA studies were done to see if various lines were related. One came back as completely unrelated. The parents of the person tested are living. He had grown up in his family thinking of course that he was a biological child of both parents. Needless to say, this person is devastated and the family is in real turmoil. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to GERMANNA_COLONIES-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message

There is no problem with the maternal line.  He was not adopted.  He has a different father and the parents were married before he was born.  He happens to be the middle child.  I was merely pointing out there can be consequences that people are not expecting or even aware of when they agree to a DNA test.  Perhaps telling them up front that they may discover that their parents are not their parents would be good. Suzanne Collins Matson ________________________________ From: ROBERT NICHOLSON <robertnicholson1@cox.net> To: germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:58:38 PM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question Suzanne, Obviously, if the individual was adopted, his adoptive parents should have told him when he was a small child.  But they apparently didn't.  While a brief period of being upset is understandable, then is no point in making a family shattering issue out of it..  I have never had the experience of knowing perfect parents or perfect children.  It is basically a live and let live world and the ability to accept some things as you find them is generally regarded as a sign of emotional maturity. Robert Nicholson ----- Original Message ----- From: "Suzanne Matson" <holtzclaw.research@yahoo.com> To: <germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 10:32 AM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question If it were me or my husband, that is exactly what I would do. But it isn't about us and I feel that it is rather rude and insensitive to tell someone to just get over it. I do know he talked to his parents about the result. I don't know what they said. Since his brothers did match and he did not, this leaves some questions that he may want answered but the parents may not be willing to answer. I think this would be a huge shock if there were no hint or "family lore" out there lurking. Suzanne Collins Matson ________________________________ From: ROBERT NICHOLSON <robertnicholson1@cox.net> To: germanna_colonies@rootsweb.com Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 11:46:29 AM Subject: Re: [GERMANNA] DNA study question You just file the information away and move on. There is no point in getting upset about it at this late date. My own DNA testing proved "family lore" that my surname should be be something else so the results were not a shock. It seems that one of my direct ancestors used the surname of his step-father rather than the surname of his actual father. In addition, I know of a case where a family researcher had expended a tremendous amount of time and energy in researching what she thought was her ancestral line. When her father finally took the DNA test, it came back that they did not connect with their own surname line. That did come as a shock to her. So the message is to just accept the results and keep on trucking. Robert Nicholson ----- Original Message ----- From: "Suzanne Matson" <holtzclaw.research@yahoo.com> Subject: [GERMANNA] DNA study question How have various family groups dealt with the following scenario which happened in my husband's family? Y-DNA studies were done to see if various lines were related. One came back as completely unrelated.. The parents of the person tested are living. He had grown up in his family thinking of course that he was a biological child of both parents. Needless to say, this person is devastated and the family is in real turmoil. ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to GERMANNA_COLONIES-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to GERMANNA_COLONIES-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message