The story about the German cemeteries is true - true - true. We lived in Buettleborn for 10 years and the it seemed to be a very personal thing to visit the graves of loved ones. In fact one of the rituals at the gravesite was to rake about the perimeter. This would cause any foot traffic to leave footprints. So - visitors could walk through the cemetery and glance down the rows, which ones had been raked in the last two days. This means so and so is not tending their grave. My wife religiously visited the graves of her parents at least twice a week and more often in summer and especially on holidays. She would fuss over the grave, wipe off the stone, water the flowers, and rake the surrounding area about 18 inches wide. Today, in Charlotte, NC., she does the same thing for our son.