After the snowball - I just had to share this. Gina I think Santa Claus is a woman.... > > > > I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, > > but I believe he's a she. > > Think about it. > > Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, > > nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time > > believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! > > > > For starters, > > the vast majority of men don't even think about > > selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. > > It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of > > Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, > > when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men > > and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. > > > > Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to > > find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, > > and mood rings left on the shelves. > > (You might think this would send them into a fit > > of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's > > an enormous relief because it lessens > > the 11th hour decision-making burden.) > > On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. > > Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would > > wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical > > Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. > > > > Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. > > First of all, there would be no reindeer because they > > would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the > > rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, > > desperate claims that buck season had been extended. > > Blitzen's rack would already be > > on the way to the taxidermist. > > Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, > > he'd still have transportation problems because > > he would inevitably get lost up there in the > > snow and clouds and then refuse to > > stop and ask for directions. > > Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable > > delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like > > Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. > > He would also need to check for > > carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, > > and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked > > to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. > > > > Other reasons why Santa can't > > possibly be a man: > > > > * Men can't pack a bag. > > * Men would rather be dead than > > caught wearing red velvet. > > * Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... > > having to be seen with all those elves. > > * Men don't answer their mail. > > * Men would refuse to allow their physique > > to be described even in jest as anything remotely > > resembling a "bowlful of jelly." > > * Men aren't interested in stockings unless > > somebody's wearing them. > > * Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously > > inhibit their ability to pick up women. > > * Finally, being responsible for Christmas > > would require a commitment. > > > > I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday > > characters are men......... Father Time shows up > > once a year unshaven and looking ominous. > > Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. > > Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. > > Any one of these individuals could pass the > > testosterone screening test. > > But not St. Nick. Not a chance. > > As long as we have each other, > > good will, peace on earth, > > faith and Nat King Cole's version of > > "The Christmas Song," > > it probably makes little difference > > what gender Santa is. > > > > I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!! > > The silly things we send over the air waves. Have a great holiday.