> > > Then there are family historians - good-hearted people who > > > sometimes (sometimes is a key word here) waive commonly accepted > > > rules of genealogy to please family and friends. This includes the > > > righteous among us who properly insist on bloodlines but who will be > > > in for a few disappointments when DNA testing is universal. > > > > > > J. Hugh Sullivan > > > > Mr. Sullivan: > > > > Your above comment (extracted from the full post), made me laugh out > > loud as I recalled my kin folks' reaction to the discovery I had > > made that proved the maternal GrGrandfather was illegitimate. While > > the kin folks knew this to be true, they did not want such records > > available for public use (the record was found at NARA) and they > > certainly did not want "the kid" knowing of and discussing this part > > of the family history. Many offers were made to me---payments if > > you will----to withhold that information. > > > > Your lines above gave me a good walk down memory lane. > > > > Fred Frederick <[email protected]> > > your post brings up a good point. as i work very diligently trying > to research my family history while I still have my mother and my > grandmother to use as sources i come across a situation where my > mother and an aunt had been married for a short period of time to > different men. neither of them wants to share any of their history > during those times. I know of these marriages because they were in > my lifetime so I have written them in my notes for use at a later > date but how does a person make others in the family understand that > this is a family history to share with our descendants so they can > know where they came from and who we are, They enjoy researching > with me and love to find new stories about our ancestors but still > are adamant about not sharing a small piece of their past. How can > we make people understand so they will share? > > Robin Percy <[email protected]> If there is any degree of "shame" or embarrassment you don't change their minds. It's not history yet because it happened to them - history is about dead people. Genealogy is not about morals but no one agrees with me. One of my sons was married at 17 and it lasted less than a year. Was it a "roll in the hay" or is it genealogy? My mother would never speak of her father because he divorced her mother. I didn't realize until after she died that she must have had a father. She never told me she had a miscarriage. It's gradually becoming easier to speak of those things. When a person's mind is made up they don't want to be confused by facts. Hugh [email protected] (J. Hugh Sullivan)