Funerals and such have always really been for the living, we all understand that. My husband's mother was cremated and her ashes scattered in the bay where she spent many years skiing and raising her family. When his brother died a few years later, he and his father agreed to do the same with his brother so that they would be "together". On the anniversary of their death he used to drive to the area where they scattered their ashes. But its hard to have a "moment" and a good cry when there are people having a good time with water sports wondering what your problem is. In a cemetery, everyone is there for the same thing. When we go to put flowers on my brother's grave, my husband says he wishes he had somewhere to go and think of his mother and brother. When I have the funds, I would like to place a memorial to them wherever we plan to have our marker. I agree with the idea of cremation...for me, I really don't care about a burial, but I would have a marker. That is important to me. Seeing how my parents act when they go to their parents graves...it matters. I rarely go to my brother's grave but I think about it and him often and it gives me a sense of peace. I know "he" isn't there but that is where I can think of him and nothing but him. "Heather Figueroa" <NoSpam@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:a7qn3m$njsje$1@ID-99845.news.dfncis.de... > Cheryl....... > > My sister and I decided to put our mother's name on her parent's > tombstone, along with her brother who died in 1960. We were rather > 'taken aback' to find that no one (meaning my mother and grandmother) > had even put a marker on my uncle's grave!! And there were a few > unmarked ones to the left of his. > > We had a diagram from the cemetery people and eventually found the > spot........but could this be your same situation? > > They are now both engraved on their parents' tombstone, but neither > coffin or cremation urn is there.......not important to us. Simply > having their names there to be seen for future generations was enough. > > As a side topic......where will people look in future generations, if > things go on as they are now doing. In both my family and my > husband's anyway. No one is buried anywhere......cremation and > scattering of ashes in most cases. This is why we made sure there was > a tombstone engraving for all of them.......it certainly is not like > the old days!! > > Last summer, I stood there in absolute awe, looking at my (scottish) > PEI ancestors' tombstones from 1820. We had a great time, finding > obscure old graveyards in Prince Edward Island where there would be at > least two tombstones of one line or another. > > Anyone else seeing this as the way burials are going? Is it the high > cost of funerals? In our case, it was not that.......Dad just wanted > his ashes scattered in PEI at his favourite old fishing hole. Yet my > neighbour has a 'family plot' nearby.......different outlooks? > > Be interested to hear any comments. > > Heather > > Singhals <singhals@erols.com> wrote in message > news:<3C9FD642.E0632442@erols.com>... > > > Well, it *is* Easter, after all! (g) > > > > > > The actual question is -- does anyone know if the physical size > > > of a grave has changed much over the past 150 years? > > > > > > I'm walking a cemetery, and there are places in it where I KNOW > > > there should be graves, but there are no markers. The empty > > > place is too big to be two graves, but not quite big enough for > > > three modern graves. So, I was wondering ... > > > > > > Cheryl >