It has been a long time, since I have had to go digging through family closets, and there are certinly plenty of skeletons I am trying to bring to light, so if this post is in all the wrong places, please be gentle with the flaming barbecue. What is proper has changed way too much in the 6 years since I last did this. This post doesn't belong *technically* with the veterans group, but I think in the end it will make sense why I stuck it there anyway. I am trying very hard to fill in some important gaps in my heritage..ie..just who exactly is my father? I cannot ask my mother, she is firstly mentally ill, and secondly has PLENTY to hide, so the truth will not come from that direction. At least not until I can fill in some of the blanks otherwise. In questioning my mother further I was told the following (sketchy) story..warning this is a little complicated! Sometime in the 18 months before I was born (in November of 1968), my mother met a Navy man named Clifford Leroy Meacham. He was stationed at the base (Pt. Mugu? spelling?) in Oxnard CA. They lived together (not married) and she became pregnant sometime in the summer of 1967. But when she was approximately 5 months preggers, she had a miscarriage. The doc ordered 3 weeks of no sex, and in the spring of 1968, she again became pregnant with me. According to her story, she became pregnant on the first try after the "no sex" edict. Sometime before her 5th month of pregnancy with me, she and Cliff had a falling out of some sort, and they split. She then met an ARMY man named Carl Josephson.(Beginning to see the thing for men in uniforms rearing its head here!) This 2nd relationship seemed to hold up well, and when I was born a few weeks later she put his name on my birth certificate. Knowing full well he was not my father. They later married, had my sister, and divorced. When I was 10 years old, she told me the "truth" about my father. I did spend an enormous amount of time about 5-6 years ago tracking down my father. Or at least the person my mother claimed to be my father. From that work I managed to obtain his military records, including his medical records, the dates of his previous marriages, and divorces, and...his 1984 death certificate. Literally a "dead end"! From Clifford's military & medical records I obtained 3 facts: 1) His blood type was O+. 2) He had the mumps. 3) He had no other children. This led me to conclude that something was very wrong with the picture that was beginning to be painted. 1) My blood type is NEGATIVE, my mother's is POSITIVE....as I understand it, two positives will never make a negative, but I will defer this to anyone with more expertise. 2)Mumps if they occur in a teenage male, will quite often cause sterility. 3) Did he not have children due to the mumps? For the last 5-6 years I have let these facts lie, afterall you cannot dig up a ghost, and there is no-one left to talk to. Almost no-one. Earlier this week a chance conversation with a long lost, and since found brother (a long story about that, but not for this post). revealed that my Mother's version of my heritage might not be as she had told me. Her first marriage had been to an Air Force man named Robert Vacha (really a thing for uniforms here!). He was stationed, and they lived in Reno, NV. Together they were raising her son from a previous relationship, and the long lost brother, born in 1965. At some point before September of 1966, the Air Force husband is sent to a remote duty station out of the country, but sometime in mid to late 1967 he is called back due to a family emergency. His sons had been abandoned in a hotel room in Reno, their mother (and mine) nowhere to be found. Local rumor is that she has left town with a friend that had been asked to "watch out for" the wife and children while the husband was away. A few weeks later she is arrested in California after being pulled over for a minor traffic violaton (the police discover the warrant for the Nevada abandonment charges). Rather than extradite, she is sentenced to 2-3 years probation, and is sent to a mental ward in California where she is kept for at least 6 months. She was not released until at approx. mid -late 1968. (My guess is that they had no facility to deal with a preggers woiman about to deliver and released her). From other records I have of her...and I have no recollection of why I found this, I know she was also arrested in Oxnard, CA in September of 1966 for child abuse. These are not the same charges as those filed later in Nevada. She was also at least making a part time residence in Reno during this time (back and forth between Reno and Oxnard) With all of this..I know that someone somewhere is not telling the truth. If my brother is being honest then she could not have possibly been living with Clifford Meacham for the 18 months she claims, as she was in the mental ward. If she is being honest, at least partially it still doesn't explain the blood type thing. My guess is the "best friend/watch out for wife and kids friend/stab me in the back non-friend" is the most likely candidate for my parentage. But I have no name, no description, nothing of this person.And my mother's husband, who she was cheating on with this "friend" is not talking to anyone about that part of the saga. (Can't say I blame the poor guy!) So if anyone out there ever heard of, was friends with, or heard rumors about a woman named Joy Vacha aka Joy Dean, in either Oxnard, Ca or Reno, NV, I could really use some help filling in the rest of the blanks and putting this entire issue to rest one way or the other. Also, if anyone knows just how far back court records in Nevada go, that would help also. My brother claims that there are alot of details in the paperwork that went back and forth in the divorce, and criminal charges, but he doesn't have copies. So I might need to go and do some digging, but hate making that trek without knowing if it will do me any good whatsoever. WHEW! T. Woods

[begin quoted material] 1) My blood type is NEGATIVE, my mother's is > POSITIVE....as I understand it, two positives will never make a negative, > but I will defer this to anyone with more expertise. [end quoted material] http://www.madsci.org/FAQs/blood.html Shows the following regarding Rh bloodtypes (Maternal)---> Rh+ Rh- Rh+ + or - + or - Rh- + or - - only I hope the above displays correctly after this is sent. What it's showing is that the only thing that's certain with Rh bloodtypes is that two negatives will ALWAYS be negative. Two positives or one of each with produce EITHER a + or a -. [begin quoted material] 2)Mumps if they occur in a teenage male, will quite often cause sterility. [end quoted material] From http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/health-info/dis-cond/commdis/mumpssci.html COMMON MYTHS Mumps can cause sterility and impotence in males. No. There is no evidence that mumps can cause impotence. The cases of sterility from mumps are rare. It is best to catch mumps and get it over with. No. It is better to be immunized against the disease. Complications from the disease can cause serious problems. http://www.med.sc.edu:85/pdf-vir/mmr.pdf shows (on page 6) that mumps in the testis is common in adults (20% of adult males) and not a significant cause of sterility. http://www.student.ahc.umn.edu/dental/2004/notes/fall2001/mi011108.PDF (page 2) indicates one symptom of mumps is sterility in postpuberty males, but it is rare. So, from the above, it doesn't sound like you can count anyone out as your father based on childhood disease or Rh factor. -- Barb Orange County, Indiana, Marriage Record Index: http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~woodhousegenealogy/

"T Woods" <twoods@cyberpointdesign.com> wrote in message news:Xns91F2E03C0788Ctinacyberpointdesign@209.249.90.101... > It has been a long time, since I have had to go digging through family > closets, and there are certinly plenty of skeletons I am trying to bring to > light, so if this post is in all the wrong places, please be gentle with > the flaming barbecue. What is proper has changed way too much in the 6 > years since I last did this. > > This post doesn't belong *technically* with the veterans group, but I think > in the end it will make sense why I stuck it there anyway. > > I am trying very hard to fill in some important gaps in my > heritage..ie..just who exactly is my father? I cannot ask my mother, she is > firstly mentally ill, and secondly has PLENTY to hide, so the truth will > not come from that direction. At least not until I can fill in some of the > blanks otherwise. > > In questioning my mother further I was told the following (sketchy) > story..warning this is a little complicated! > > Sometime in the 18 months before I was born (in November of 1968), my > mother met a Navy man named Clifford Leroy Meacham. He was stationed at the > base (Pt. Mugu? spelling?) in Oxnard CA. There is also a Port Hueneme at Oxnard, along with the Coast Guard. > > They lived together (not married) and she became pregnant sometime in the > summer of 1967. But when she was approximately 5 months preggers, she had a > miscarriage. The doc ordered 3 weeks of no sex, and in the spring of 1968, > she again became pregnant with me. According to her story, she became > pregnant on the first try after the "no sex" edict. > Actually she got preggie in the winter time, like Feb 11-9=2. Which brings the subject to mind, why not do a timeline of events, people, etc. It just may help clarify the picture and help you see something you missed. Also, do not forget the DNA thing. You can use hair, etc. for this and someone may have a lock of hair, etc. more below. > Sometime before her 5th month of pregnancy with me, she and Cliff had a > falling out of some sort, and they split. She then met an ARMY man named > Carl Josephson.(Beginning to see the thing for men in uniforms rearing its > head here!) > Here is where you need to check any photographs, a lot of them are date stamped with the day printed, etc. Can help with the timeline. > This 2nd relationship seemed to hold up well, and when I was born a few > weeks later she put his name on my birth certificate. Knowing full well he > was not my father. They later married, had my sister, and divorced. When I > was 10 years old, she told me the "truth" about my father. > > I did spend an enormous amount of time about 5-6 years ago tracking down my > father. Or at least the person my mother claimed to be my father. From that > work I managed to obtain his military records, including his medical > records, the dates of his previous marriages, and divorces, and...his 1984 > death certificate. Literally a "dead end"! > > From Clifford's military & medical records I obtained 3 facts: 1) His blood > type was O+. 2) He had the mumps. 3) He had no other children. This led me > to conclude that something was very wrong with the picture that was > beginning to be painted. 1) My blood type is NEGATIVE, my mother's is > POSITIVE....as I understand it, two positives will never make a negative, > but I will defer this to anyone with more expertise. 2)Mumps if they occur > in a teenage male, will quite often cause sterility. 3) Did he not have > children due to the mumps? > Good question, but draw no conclusions from it. > For the last 5-6 years I have let these facts lie, afterall you cannot dig > up a ghost, and there is no-one left to talk to. Almost no-one. > His wife, if friendly and open could be asked if he ever said anything about a child, but tread lightly in respect for the woman and her memories. > Earlier this week a chance conversation with a long lost, and since found > brother (a long story about that, but not for this post). revealed that my > Mother's version of my heritage might not be as she had told me. > Add this to the timeline, birth, age, etc. Also what is his blood type, DNA, could you in fact be really brothers with the same Dad? A timeline can help. Mom's have been known to change things out of anger. > Her first marriage had been to an Air Force man named Robert Vacha (really > a thing for uniforms here!). He was stationed, and they lived in Reno, NV. > Together they were raising her son from a previous relationship, and the > long lost brother, born in 1965. At some point before September of 1966, > the Air Force husband is sent to a remote duty station out of the country, > but sometime in mid to late 1967 he is called back due to a family > emergency. His sons had been abandoned in a hotel room in Reno, their > mother (and mine) nowhere to be found. Local rumor is that she has left > town with a friend that had been asked to "watch out for" the wife and > children while the husband was away. A few weeks later she is arrested in > California after being pulled over for a minor traffic violaton (the police > discover the warrant for the Nevada abandonment charges). Rather than > extradite, she is sentenced to 2-3 years probation, and is sent to a mental > ward in California where she is kept for at least 6 months. She was not > released until at approx. mid -late 1968. (My guess is that they had no > facility to deal with a preggers woiman about to deliver and released her). > Check the arrest records, may have his name there. (could have been a witness to events or directly involved, whose car was she driving? Where was she living, who was registered on the rent/lease/motel room.) Although this might be really difficult to find out. > From other records I have of her...and I have no recollection of why I > found this, I know she was also arrested in Oxnard, CA in September of 1966 > for child abuse. These are not the same charges as those filed later in > Nevada. She was also at least making a part time residence in Reno during > this time (back and forth between Reno and Oxnard) > Not sure what the legalities are here, but the records would still be available. Also witnesses names, etc. More timeline. > With all of this..I know that someone somewhere is not telling the truth. > > If my brother is being honest then she could not have possibly been living > with Clifford Meacham for the 18 months she claims, as she was in the > mental ward. > Someone there could have been the father? Real important here to find out the exact timeline, also records should be available as to discharge etc. > If she is being honest, at least partially it still doesn't explain the > blood type thing. > > My guess is the "best friend/watch out for wife and kids friend/stab me in > the back non-friend" is the most likely candidate for my parentage. But I > have no name, no description, nothing of this person.And my mother's > husband, who she was cheating on with this "friend" is not talking to > anyone about that part of the saga. (Can't say I blame the poor guy!) > A private letter to him may be in order here. Also you should match your blood/dna with your brothers. > So if anyone out there ever heard of, was friends with, or heard rumors > about a woman named Joy Vacha aka Joy Dean, in either Oxnard, Ca or Reno, > NV, I could really use some help filling in the rest of the blanks and > putting this entire issue to rest one way or the other. > > Also, if anyone knows just how far back court records in Nevada go, that > would help also. My brother claims that there are alot of details in the > paperwork that went back and forth in the divorce, and criminal charges, > but he doesn't have copies. So I might need to go and do some digging, but > hate making that trek without knowing if it will do me any good whatsoever. > Don't know if they had no fault divorce, but the records should still be there and may be available to order on the net or by phone. > > WHEW! > Yeah, sometimes it is better to figure that the tree begins with you, and make a great legacy for your kids, etc. If you had a pretty firm timeline then you could present it to your "mother" when she is in a quiet time mood, and it could help her remember as the timeline doesn't lie, then she might fill in the blanks. She could be embarrassed about her life, maybe did drugs or just drank too much. Who knows. You are the one who has to determine how far you want to pursue this and is it worth it. It will not change who you are or what you have become and as I said, you could consider this the start of a new tree. A military father, (you pick the branch) a mom, siblings and you..... Wish you luck, a lot of wisdom is required here. > T. Woods > > > > >