A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. "Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet." "What do you mean 'all wet?'" "I mean," he replied, "below C-level." ============== A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch." ================== Q: Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? A: There are too many ears!