Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you've been calling me fat!" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." ============= "A new study found that dogs are smarter than cats because their friendliness has helped them develop bigger brains. Cat people would complain about the findings, but that would involve interacting with other humans." -Jimmy Fallon ================== Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some time passed with no consequences. Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass announced in a loud voice, "James! I don't have a headache tonight!"