RETIREMENT Question: How many days in a week?  Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday  Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?  Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.    Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?  Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.    Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.    Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?  Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.  Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?  Answer: Tied shoes.    Question: Why do retirees count pennies?  Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.   Question: What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses to retire?  Answer:   NUTS!    Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?  Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Or move back in there.   Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?  Answer: Normal.    Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?  Answer: The never ending Coffee Break…spiked !    Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.    Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he worked with?  Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.  QUESTION: What do you do all week?  Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.