My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian... The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days." Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week." =========== A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes... can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem... didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!" ============ The salesman reported back to his boss after several weeks on the road and said, "All I got was two orders." "What were they? Anything good?" "Nope," the salesman replied. "They were 'Get out!' and 'Stay out!" ============= Q: What does a jellyfish have on its tummy? A: A jelly button. Q: Why was the ancient Egyptian confused? A: Because his daddy was also his mummy.