THOUGHT OF THE DAY: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand!  FUNNY ONE - LINERS! The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.   Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.   A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.   Archeologist: Someone whose career lies in ruins. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.   There are two kinds of people who don't say much: Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.   They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?   My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?   One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.   There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late.