Mum No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning? Mum No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed. Mum No. 1: How does that help? Mum No. 2: The dog’s already there.   Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous? Mother snake: Yes, son. Why? Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!   Chris: Why is a computer so smart? Mum: It listens to its motherboard.   Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!   Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating? Johnny: No, ma'am, I don't have to. My mom’s a good cook.   Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all. Dan: How do you know? Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.   Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half? John: Mom said to cut the comedy.   A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”