Puns for Educated Minds > >1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir >Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. > >2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but >it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ... > >4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, >because it was a weapon of math disruption. > >5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be >stationery. > >6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited >for littering. > >7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in >Linoleum Blownapart. > >8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. > >10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. > > >11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. > >12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. >One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' > >13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. >Then it hit me. > >14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: >'Keep off the Grass.' > >15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a >small medium at large. > >16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is >now a seasoned veteran. > >17. A backward poet writes inverse. > >18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism >it's your count that votes. > >20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine . > >21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead >raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one >carrion allowed per passenger.' > >22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the >other and says 'Dam!' > >23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit >a fire in the craft.. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you >can't have your kayak and heat it too. > >24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my >electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm >positive.' > >25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with >the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did..