Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband. "Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!   There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman. Before Marriage and After Marriage.   My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.   Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet. Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.   Why Hurricanes Were Usually Named After Women? Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild, But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...     A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men. In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?" "Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"   Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing? Husband: "MISSING YOU"    A Man Goes To See The Rabbi.   "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It." The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?" The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me." The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?" The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know." The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?" The Man Said "Yes" The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison"   THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to and touched often. But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.   Difference Between Complete & Finish... People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is...When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE...And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED...And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!      Which is the most Dangerous Letter in English?   The Answer is "W"...as in Wrong   "W" is a tension generator because all the worries and troubles get begins with "W"...   Who? Why? What? When? Which? Whom? Where?   War... Wine... Whisky... Women...Wealth   You have to accept this:   WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.......WIFE.   There are 3 kinds of men in the world:   Some remain single & make wonders happen, Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen, The rest get married & wonder what happened!?