A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.  However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.  Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.  Written in large black letters was the sentence: 'Get well soon...from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.' 

WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS: I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.