Subject: Fwd: Fw: Break Out Your $2 Bills >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>>> >>>>IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT! >>>> >>>>Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!! >>>> >>>>I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. >>>> >>>>The younger generation doesn't even know they exist! >>>> >>>>STORY: On my way home the other night, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick >>>>bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can >>>>get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying >>>>to break a $50 bill. >>>> >>>>Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' >>>> >>>>Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?' >>>> >>>>Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 >>>>bill. >>>>He looks at it kind of funny. >>>> >>>>Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' >>>> >>>>He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following >>>>conversation occurs between the two of them: >>>> >>>>Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?' >>>>Manager: 'No. A what?' >>>>Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...' >>>> >>>>Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.' >>>>Server: 'Yeah, thought so.' >>>> >>>>He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything >>else?' >>>> >>>>Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why? >>>>Server: 'I don't know.' >>>>Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?' >>>>Server: 'Yeah.' >>>>Me: 'So, why won't you take it?' >>>> >>>>Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.' >>>> >>>>He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and >>>>says to him, 'He says I have to take it.' >>>> >>>>Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?' >>>> >>>>Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change. >>>>Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.' >>>>Server: 'What should I do?' >>>>Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.' >>>> >>>>Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.' >>>>Manager: 'Just tell him.' >>>>Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back. >>>> >>>>The manager approaches me and says, >>>>'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.' >>>> >>>>Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.' >>>>Manager: 'We don't take those, either.' >>>>Me: 'Why not?' >>>>Manager: 'I think you know why.' >>>>Me: 'No really, tell me why.' >>>> >>>>Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.' >>>>Me: 'Excuse me?' >>>>Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.' >>>>Me: 'What on earth for?' >>>>Manager: 'Please, sir..' >>>> >>>>Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.' >>>>Manager: 'Would you please just leave?' >>>>Me: 'No.' >>>>Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.' >>>>Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?' >>>> >>>>At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around >>>>the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, >>>>and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. >>>> >>>>A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. >>>> >>>>Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?' >>>>Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny >>money.' >>>>Guard: 'No kidding! What?' >>>>Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.' >>>> >>>>Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?' >>>>Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he >>>>has is a fifty.' >>>>Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!' >>>>Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.' >>>> >>>>Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?' >>>>Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?' >>>>Guard: 'Yeah.' >>>> >>>>Security Guard walks over to me and...... >>>>Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.' >>>> >>>>Me: 'Uh, no.' >>>>Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.' >>>>Me: 'Why?' >>>>Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?' >>>> >>>>At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, >>>>'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. >>>> >>>>I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at >>>him. >>>>He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, >>>>'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?' >>>> >>>>Manager: 'It's fake.' >>>>Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.' >>>>Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.' >>>>Guard: 'Yeah? ' >>>>Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?' >>>> >>>>The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns >>>>on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. >>>> >>>>So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink >>>>and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. >>>> >>>>Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what >>>>happens when I try to buy stuff. >>>>  >>>>  >>>>  >>>>  >>>>  >>>>  >> >> >> >> >=