Swiss Army ? Pocket Knife June15, 2002 After writing that little story about my grandson looking like the summer version of the swiss army knife when he goes swimming, made me think about the Swiss Army and it's pocket knife. When you list your great armies of the world, correct me if I'm wrong, but the Swiss don't come to mind . In fact, as far as armies go, "Cross our borders and we will clean your clock" - is not the sort of war cry that puts the fear of God into your average Russkie. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. Any country whose priorities lie rooted in the notion that yodeling sounds beautiful, can't be all bad. So taking their somewhat laid back attitudes towards defense as fact, who the hell are they trying to fool by marketing a product known proudly around the world as the Swiss Army pocket knife? Let's face it, if we're honest, even the word "knife" is possibly a bit of an overstatement. Gnarly vegetable peeler, or oversized lint tackler are both probably closer to the mark. The bastard can't even cut cheese, let alone bring down a grizzly. And the cluster of add-ons makes you wonder what the inventor was "SMOKING" when the prototype was in its development stage. The magnifying glass is about as useful as the Catholic Priest's guide to celibacy, . The toothpick is far too fat, and the fish scaler, well, less said about that the better. Credit where credit is due - the cork screw and the bottle opener are handy additions to a list heavily leaning toward the useless. So you can see that your Swiss Army Pocket Knife owner is not likely to try and bring down a Yak with their bare teeth. . The Swiss Army Pocket Knife bridges the gap between the dull hunting knife and the butter knife, all with a pretty red wrapper. .